Akasha Multimedia's Thoughts

University of New Haven school paper article on Hofstra MEISA Conference

2009-01-27T14:49:00.000-05:00

Of course, I'm mentioned. :-)

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Kim Morrell, Staff Writer

As my body seemingly bypassed 2 sugar-loaded cups of coffee, I was kept awake by the blinding sun and the notion of learning something less scary about the music industry. A business that has been foretold as being full of ‘better-than-you, rich-guys-in-suits' and ‘forever-scrubbing-toilets interns'. Our UNH chapter of MEISA (Music Entertainment Industry Students Association) joined members of NYU's chapter at a conference at Hofstra University on Sat. Dec. 6. The conference featured very honest, jeans-wearing speakers from many different departments of the music industry. Panel discussions involved issues such as how to adjust to the ever-changing music industry, what the concert booking and venue business is like, and how to get your foot into the many different doors that line the long hallway of the music business.

Panelists for the first workshop included Neil Gillis, president of S1 Songs-North America, a publishing company, Bernadette Giacomazzo, a photographer and journalist from Akasha Multimedia, and Tom Laskas, director of The Unlabel from Milkboy Productions. An “unlabel” provides label services without contracts,. A major point that stuck out, and later appeared to be a subliminal theme, was that independent labels or publishing companies tend to be happier places than majors. You may not work for the biggest record company in the country, but you might scrub fewer toilets and gain more experience working for an independent company.

The panel collectively advised us to join or sign up for newsletters from as many industry associations as you can. Gillis dropped the names of publishing groups like ASCAP, BMI, and AIMP. They highly recommended familiarizing yourself with basic finance, reading contracts, and even understanding a bit about the film industry. They promoted the importance of educating yourself with all the industry books available like Donald Passman's All You Need to Know About the Music Business. Giacomazzo highly recommends Confessions of a Record Producer by Moses Avalon. Most of all, the message was to not be discouraged by our economy; take risks and create opportunities. Christian McKnight and Sean McDonough of Live Nation got very personal and shared stories of their best moments and absolute failures. They were accompanied by Randy Nichols, manager to The Starting Line, Underoath, Say Anything, and The Almost, who explained that sometimes “no” is the best thing you will ever hear in the business. Getting turned down will help motivate you to turn up the heat and work harder for the next big thing you pursue.

Often times, those who want to get into the music industry don't realize how broad their options may be. The music business isn't just labels, studios, and booking. It's everywhere! Nate Cyphert showed great enthusiasm as he stressed to just be wide open to all possibilities. Cyphert is a Hofstra graduate who now works at Cherry Lane Music Publishing Company. When he said all possibilities, he really opened it up by suggesting a place like Pepsi for marketing and music coordination. He was joined by Matt Kiser, the associate web producer as Spin Magazine. Kiser spoke out to all the prospective rock stars and managers on how to get noticed by a big magazine like Spin. Number one: have a reason to get in touch with the mag – if you're album is coming out soon, or you're having a huge show. Two – make sure you contact and editor who has written about your style of music; metal writers don't pay close attention to rappers. Three – stand out, be interesting.

Some of us at the conference are not exactly planning to be rock stars, and Ben Kammerle, marketing manager for CMJ, had some advice for us. ‘How to get a job in the music industry,' Keep resumes professional and sell yourself in your cover letter. Even humor helps, don't mistake the music biz for a totally laid back place. Present yourself in a professional manner, including outside of the interview (hint, you might want to take those incriminating pictures of yourself off facebook).

Speaking of facebook, it's still good to put yourself out there if you're a band or you're getting into the industry on a business side. Utilize all networking websites out there. (Facebook, myspace, sonicbids, buzznet, imeem, twitter, pure volume, sound click, linked in…) Networking is the number one factor of success in this industry. We all learned a lot at the conference – a lot of less scary things than we often perceive of the music business. Now we're all definitely a little more at ease and more motivated to break in.

It's Sunday, I'm working...

2009-01-25T21:39:00.002-05:00

...and took a break to do some cool surveys.

Your rainbow is intensely shaded red, indigo, and orange.

What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You appreciate cities, technology, and other great things people have created. Friends count on you for being honest and insightful. Others are amazed at how you don't give up.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

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The Life Experience Test

Overall, you have partaken in 121 out of 169 possible life experiences.
Your average life experience score is therefore 72%.

The average score is 50%, making your experiences more than 96% of the people who have taken this test.
The average for your age group (26-35) is 53%.

Broken down by category:
Art: 9/17 (53%)
Career & Work: 10/13 (77%)
Civics & Technology: 7/7 (100%)
Crime & Disarray: 8/11 (73%)
Education: 17/18 (94%)
Fashion: 5/10 (50%)
Fitness, Health and Sports: 5/7 (71%)
Life in General: 11/14 (79%)
Relationships: 10/14 (71%)
Religion & Politics: 2/4 (50%)
Social: 19/22 (86%)
Travel: 9/20 (45%)
Vices: 9/12 (75%)

Take the test and see how YOU compare

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The Attractiveness Test

Overall, your average attractiveness ranks at 66 / 100 (high).
Currently, the average score is 58 / 100, putting you in the top 90% of women.

Your range of attractiveness is 67 / 100 (high).
Lower scores here indicate that a smaller, selected group of people are attracted to you, while higher scores indicate a broad range of attraction.

Your specific attractiveness is 84 / 100 (very high).
This is a measure of how attractive you are to the type of people most attracted to you.
If, for example, you have a very high specific attractiveness and a low range, this means that most people might not find you too interesting, but there is a smaller group that is very attracted to you.

Your top class of potential suitor is The Social Activist.
Description: A rare find, the Social Activist is very concerned about social and humanitarian issues home and abroad.
Pros: Caring, mature, and independent.
Cons: Not many.

Runner-up: The Professional.

Remember, there are no "right" or "wrong" answers in this test - almost all of the answers are a positive quality to someone. It all depends who's interested.

Find out how attractive YOU are!

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Your Life Report Card

Your life grade point average is 3.2 (B).

Your Classes
Social Life: 2.6 (C+)
Friends: 2.9 (B-)
Romance: 2.5 (C+)
Education: 3.9 (A-)
Career: 3.8 (A-)
Finances & Possessions: 3.3 (B+)
Culture: 3.6 (B+)
Art & Creativity: 2.8 (B-)
Home Life: 3.6 (B+)
Athletics & Fitness: 3.0 (B)
Body: 3.5 (B+)
Physical Health: 3.3 (B+)
Mental Health: 2.6 (C+)

What's your life grade?

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Are you conservative or liberal?

You are a young liberal.

Generally, young liberals are more optimistic and less confrontational than their earlier compatriots.

Find out where you fit in.

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How healthy do you live?

Overall your lifestyle is healthy.

Your diet is good, your physical exercise is good, your mental health
state is excellent, and your supporting choices are good as well.

On a scale from 1 to 10, you ranked as a 7.8.
This means your lifestyle is healthier than 91% of other test takers.

How healthy do you live?

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How moral are you?

Morality is a complex subject. Everyone has a different idea about what it means. Many people believe in a God-given morality; that morality is a spiritual issues and standard; that it is absolute. Others believe in a relative morality, and believe it is designed to keep society stable and prevent us from hurting each other.

This test is designed to be a broad, encompassing look at morality. We include anything that a significant number of people believe is a moral issue.

Your ideological morality index is 7 / 10. This is determined by your ideological opposition to various things that are considered immoral. A higher number indicates a higher morality, or an increased opposition to immorality in your personal life. In other words, a higher number means you intend to be more moral in the future.
The average is currently 6.2 / 10, which leaves you 13% higher than the average.

Your practical morality index is 6.8 / 10. This is determined by your actions - what you have done, what you are doing. A higher number means that you have generally lived by a high standard of morality.
The average practical morality index is 6.3 / 10, which puts you at 8% higher than the average.

Broken down, your personal morality is 5 / 10 (medium) - this is the morality that relates to your personal decisions. Your interpersonal morality is 8.8 / 10 (high) - this concerns your relationship to, and decisions that you make concerning, other people.

Get your morality analysis.

I'm working with an OSCAR NOMINATED PRODUCER!

2009-01-23T11:49:00.000-05:00

My congratulations goes out to Heather Rae (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0706010), producer of UNICORNS (check here -- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1141702/fullcredits -- and see who's the music supervisor. ;-) ), for her TWO Oscar nominations for Frozen River!

Frozen River has also been nominated for Spirit Awards this year.

In the past, Heather has won a Gotham Award, and was nominated for the Sundance Grand Jury Prize.

Felicidades Heather!

Catch me at the MEISA/MEIEA Conference Tomorrow!

2008-12-05T15:04:00.001-05:00

Yes, I know, shameless self-promotion...

If you're in the NY area, please be sure to catch me at the MEISA/MEIEA conference tomorrow at Hofstra University (my alma mater for my graduate degree).

The Music and Entertainment Industry Student Association is an organization comprised of college and university students with an interest in the music and entertainment industries. Students can gain both experience and the opportunity to network with industry professionals through local, regional, and national activities and events.

The Music and Entertainment Industry Educators Association (MEIEA®) is an international organization that was formed in 1979 to bring together educators with leaders of the music and entertainment industries. The primary goal of MEIEA® is to facilitate an exchange of information between educators and practitioners in order to prepare students for careers in the music and entertainment industries. The purpose for which MEIEA® is organized and operated is exclusively literary and educational as defined in Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code and its regulations.

Diplomacy

2008-12-03T01:11:00.002-05:00

Today I got an e-mail from an associate, asking me about a former lead singer of a band that is no longer in existence (specifically, what my professional opinion of the guy was).

The reason for his question was simple: said lead singer -- who, I should point out, is 41 years old if he's a day, with two young children -- had been posting a mess of gossip and borderline slander on his personal website about his former bandmates. In his bio, this lead singer described his experiences in two different bands, both of which ended because of some combination of the following: egos, drugs, drama, women.

It's also worth mentioning that this lead singer has atrocious spelling skills.

Now, of course I noticed all this, and I also recall this lead singer's dealings with myself, my colleagues, and my friends. While his erstwhile bandmates were always professional, even friendly, the lead singer was always -- frankly -- a self-righteous, self-centered prick. (Aren't they all..)

But maybe it's my old age that has made me more mellow (BTW, thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday on the 29th of November. MUCH appreciated!)...or maybe I just have better things to worry about than the trials and travails of some no-name, no-talent bar band with narcissistic delusions of grandeur.

So I told my colleague the following: while my professional experiences with the lead singer -- and other no-name bar bands -- is irrelevant (since I only deal with major label bands and music industry professionals, A-list celebrities, and major players in the film industry -- I refuse to deal with anything less), I will say that, as a general rule, people who take to their blog/website to write the sort of thing he wrote don't have much to offer in any other department.

As my recent interview with Finespun (I know, shameless plug: http://www.popculturemadness.com/interview/Finespun.html) proves, bands (feel free to substitute "companies" or "people" if you like) who create drama, and thrive off of it, don't have what it takes to make it.

I could sit here and rattle off my list of accomplishments, put people down, and/or lay stake to a claim I'm not qualified to make (beef up my resume, if you will, or claim that I did something that I didn't do to make myself look better). But that would be compromising my long-standing, hard-earned dignity and integrity, neither of which are up for sale. Because in this day and age, it only takes one click of the mouse, one quick Google search, to prove (or disprove) what I'm saying. And, finally (and most importantly): I don't have to take to MySpace (or anywhere else) to tell people what I'm doing, who with, and why. I just simply DO IT, and let the rest speak for itself.

So, the lessons here:
*Knock it off with the drama. Don't give into it, don't create it, don't revel in it. It doesn't make you cool or controversial: it makes you look unprofessional and, frankly, untalented.
*Leave some details about yourself off the Internet. Just because you CAN post what you're doing every minute of every second of every day, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
*Don't claim you did something that you didn't do. If you're really the music supervisor for a movie, you can say so. But you cannot claim to be a music supervisor for a Gucci commercial when it takes one phone call to disprove you (and it could get you and your "company" in a shitload of legal trouble). Besides, people aren't as stupid as you think -- you can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time (bravo, Bob Marley).

As an example, without naming names, there was a band who were playing for an Alice Cooper after party (of which Alice was not in attendance) that advertised (using a picture of Alice Cooper, to boot!) that they were opening for Alice Cooper. In fact, to add insult to injury, they listed THEIR name first, "AND Alice Cooper," which made it look like Alice Cooper was opening for THEM. (First rule of advertising: the headliner's name goes first. It's Pearl Jam AND Special Guest, not Special Guest AND Pearl Jam.) Well, when Cooper's label found out, they went through the proverbial roof, and called the offending band to let them have it in spades, clubs, hearts and diamonds. (The idiot band's response: "Who told you we were doing this?" It was ME, for the record. I've got friends and colleagues at Alice Cooper's label -- amongst other labels. But the label's frosty reply: "Instead of worrying about who told us what you did, you should worry about what YOU'RE doing wrong and fixing it so you don't get slapped with a lawsuit." Needless to say, that band has been playing the same three bars ever since...)

In closing, consider this blog -- a very subdued blog, methinks; certainly much more favorable in brevity than some of my previous postings -- as a friendly reminder to several people of the following: despite the fact that I have moved on to bigger, better, and greener pastures than those offered by the no-name, no-talent bar band circuit, I haven't forgotten where I came from...in more ways than one.

In other words, I know what skeletons are hiding in your closet, AND I know where to find them. (In some cases, I know because *I* am that skeleton...*I* am the one you don't want people to know about, because you KNOW that what I say will be the cold hard truth about you, and will shut you down permanently) I save every e-mail, remember every conversation, and in some cases RECORDED what I couldn't hope to remember.

And I stored it away.

See, in my old age, I've taken the following tack: don't start no shit, and there won't be no shit. So long as you keep your delusions to yourself, and you post your embarrassing, all-but-pornographic fantasies on your MySpace page and think it makes you look professional...we're fine. You can do one of two things when/if you see me: ignore me (preferred) or simply smile cordially (not so much; I'm not into the whole fake "I like you" shit). Keep doing that, and we're all good.

For that matter, you can claim you wrote the Batman theme...it's all good.

Just don't disrespect me. Don't take to your MySpace and take subtle digs. Don't go running to your boyfriend on the radio (YEAH, I SAID IT) and cry about "negativity."

Remember: for the most part, I'm extremely quiet (on the surface). I'm extremely trustworthy (which means I know your secrets) and extremely loyal. But I'm also extremely OVER IT...which means I don't really care what happens to you as an end result of you starting shit when there needn't be any.

Just some diplomacy...

Game, Set...

2008-11-07T19:57:00.001-05:00

Many, many thanks to Heather and Leah -- thank you for the start of a most incredible journey...looking forward to it all!

CLICK HERE!

In the words of President-Elect, No-Drama Obama...YES I DID!!!

Last Tango on Tattoine

2008-09-30T13:21:00.001-04:00

A total non-sequitor title, but as I'm swamped with work I neither have the time, nor the inclination, to be creative as far as a blog caption is concerned...

---

It seems that the latest rumor about me is that I'm some "failed writer/photographer groupie." This, mind you, coming from the mouths of the real groupies -- the pushing-60 "photographer" of bar bands and the whore who had countless bar bands run trains on her and dances like a stripper with Bell's Palsy on anything that remotely resembles a pole.

For the 500 millionth time...
I have over ten (10) years experience as a writer and photographer. My work has appeared in such publications as The Los Angeles Times, Vanidades, Long Island Pulse, The Independent, The Daily Mail, Elle (UK), and The Herald. I have held steady paid gigs as a writer at such places as The Island Ear, The Inside Connection, The Herald, and -- currently -- Pop Culture Madness. Splash News has paid me for my photos on several occasions, and this month alone, they billed over $1000 for four photos that have been sold in Germany, Austria, the United Kingdom, and Australia.

And I have yet to break the news as to where I will be at next. Let's just say: it's a very big deal.

This is to say nothing about my gallery exhibitions -- one of which was an Official NYC Fall Fashion Week exhibit, attended by thousands of people, with accolades from people from The Black Book and, yes, Vogue magazine.

And this is all just the tip of the iceberg. To list my accomplishments here would be the equivalent of a resume...and would take several pages, and time which I do not have, and inclination to prove myself which I do not need to do...all done by my own hand, without (unlike some people) relying on others' name(s) and/or infamy/slight popularity to do so.

If all of my accomplishments in the biggest publications in the world add up to being a "failed writer/photographer," then by Gods, I am proud to be one.
Certainly beats the hell out of ONE VERY MINOR publication credit (which came from MY contact), doesn't it? :-)

Don't get me wrong...a credit (regardless of by whose hand from which it came, or how big it is) is a big deal. But not in comparison to others' accomplishments (i.e., mine), and certainly not when you consider the ugliness of heart and spirit -- and psychosis of mind -- by which said groupie touts her illustrious "career."

*sheesh*

New Pop Culture Madness article!

2008-09-30T11:40:00.001-04:00

My interview with author and reality star Jess McCann can be found
HERE.

More articles coming up, including an interview with my girl Doe Deere!

Back in the Saddle Again...with a vengeance...

2008-09-24T12:04:00.000-04:00

So much going on...so little space to tell it. Let's start from the beginning:

-My Natasha Bedingfield live photos have made IPA Press' wire. IPA will be representing me on a non-exclusive basis for a few select photos. You can see my photos HERE.

-My JPG Magazine story Before The Sun has been receiving lots of hits, kudos, and the like. You can read that story HERE.

(And before you can even think of saying something flip, know this: I am at the stage in my career -- and my life -- where I, quite simply, could not give a damn about what anyone has to say. Quite simply, if you don't like what I have to say, you can tell someone who cares, because it isn't me. Moreover, unlike some people who shall remain nameless, I never used the names of people I claim to love to make a dime -- or my reputation. My talents -- and my talents alone -- have helped me to earn all that I have. And unlike certain old groupies, I actually do love the people I claim to love. I did, I do, I have, and I will. And if you think I'm going to let a groupie's true ugliness of heart and spirit taint that -- or anything else I do -- you'd better think again...)

-Lots of my stories have been featured on Pop Culture Madness as well. My story on ZO2 can be found HERE. My Live/Collective Soul/Hana Pestle review can be found HERE and my recent feature on CBS's Fall Kickoff Party can be found HERE. In addition, check out my feature on The Morning Light -- including an exclusive album stream -- HERE.

Coming up: Crusher Magazine features, as well as more features for Pop Culture Madness, including stories on: Donnie Wahlberg (Monica Russo, that one's for you!), CHIODOS, the Alma Awards, Most Precious Blood, Secondhand Serenade, Ute Lemper, Norma Jean, Triple Crown Records, Mushroomhead, Jake:One, Howie Dorough, Matt Morris, a Green Beauty guide, DRANK Beverage, Jennifer Aniston, The NYC Showbiz Expo, Biker Babe Marketing, and much more!

If you have something you'd like me to feature for either Crusher (metal, hard rock, etc.) or Pop Culture Madness or Splash News (www.splashnews.com), please drop me an e-mail at info@akashamultimedia.com.

PLEASE NOTE: I refuse to work with no-name, no-talent bar bands with groupie issues. So don't e-mail me if you fall into that category.

-My photo has been doing very well in the Billboard Magazine contest. I'm first in the Series category, and top five overall (and to think: OVER 2500 VOTES *WITHOUT* "help"! HA!). Place your votes for me!

-On a personal note, thank you to all who called, e-mailed, sent love, etc., offering condolences on my grandfather's passing. It meant a lot.

More big news shortly!

He was a good man...a poem by Jason Cunningham

2008-09-14T16:43:00.001-04:00

A good man should desire to be defined by more than his body, intellect or wealth. He sees himself as a man first, a spect of God‘s Creation, and above all, the ruler of his philosophical and spiritual mind.

A good man works within the confines of the law to make a living and life better for those outside of himself. He does not put perishable desires before his family or God, nor will he ever complain without first attempting to find a solution to the mayhem and mess.

A good man is a commodity in this world. He is free of corruption, unable to be bought and would not resort to trickery to win an argument. Because of his goodness, he is presented with a multitude of temptations; however, he has more value for his freedom, family and control of his mind.

A good man loves all of God’s children, even if he does not known them by name, and when he prays, everyone of them is included. He wishes goodwill to all, both friends and foes, and rejoices in everyone’s happiness.

A good man realizes that he must die, in order to better understand God‘s Plan, yet he desires to be an instrument of goodness all the days of his life. Unlike most, he believes that he can be made better because of his daily understanding of God’s love.
-=[Jason Cunningham]=-

R.I.P. Nonno -- 1921-2008

New ZO2 Interview/Profile on Pop Culture Madness!

2008-08-13T12:49:00.001-04:00

And they made the front page, too!

http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/index.html

Check out my story for JPG magazine...!

2008-08-04T13:37:00.001-04:00

Click HERE...and vote! :-)

Do what they do in Russia...and VOTE!!!

2008-08-03T18:06:00.001-04:00

Please repost this...often...and VOTE FOR ME!!!

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I'm counting on each and every one of you to help me win this!
If I win the grand prize, I promise to share the wealth.

Just click to vote -- vote often, vote all the time, vote EVERY time...and repost, repost, repost!

I've entered a contest by Billboard magazine, and I need as many votes as I can get to win.

Here are the links:
CLICK HERE!

(My photos are labeled B. Giacomazzo/Akasha Multimedia)

Live/Collective Soul/Hana Pestle review (and photos!) on Pop Culture Madness!

2008-08-03T16:48:00.000-04:00

Click HERE to read it!

And some information about Pop Culture Madness:
Pop Culture Madness is one of the premiere Pop Music and Popular Culture websites on the internet. Online since 1999, Pop Culture Madness features family-friendly Pop Culture news and reviews, trivia and humor. We feature unique and entertaining content. Our consistent top results placement on search engine giants such as Google and Yahoo puts many of our features in front of thousands of visitors every day.

(at last count, it was 15,000 unique visitors per day)

My Katy Perry photos hit Splash's online blog!

2008-07-30T15:45:00.000-04:00

Click HERE for the link...(scroll down to see the rest of the photos).

I would like to share the following:

(1) Katy Perry's performance was THE only time I've ever been reminded of my sex from anyone (except groupies) as the security guards kicked ALL the female photographers out of the pit when Katy took the stage (only the male photographers were allowed to shoot the first two songs; the female photographers had to wait until the last song). At the same time, it ultimately didn't matter what they had to say...because a good photographer is a good photographer, and as the photographer from Billboard told me in the pit, "A good photographer doesn't need three songs to get THE shot. Nor does a good photographer need to lean on the shutter, taking thousands of pictures, to get THE shot." (Gee, that's the second time I've heard that...must be something to it...)

I'd like to think I did my job well, even with only one song...Splash seemed to think so...

and

(2) I find it highly humorous that Splash decided to couple Katy Perry -- a true talent -- with Mealy-Mouth Cyrus' -- decidedly not.The gods have a sense of humor...

Sprechen ze Deutsch? My photos hit RTLmusik!

2008-07-27T13:53:00.001-04:00

Germany's premiere lifestyle and music site, RTLmusik, features my photos!

Click HERE (second photo down).
The caption translation reads as follows: "Looks like a lot of sewing, but individualism guaranteed."

Ever since I can remember I was poppin' mah collar...

Lorraine Ali in NEWSWEEK

2008-07-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

I've long argued that "parents" who have children for selfish reasons -- i.e., trying to save an already-failing relationship -- are amongst the cruelest beings on the planet. Now, Lorraine Ali has validated my beliefs (and apparantly, the beliefs of several others...check the link).

You see, folks, when you have a child to save a relationship, you're being emotionally abusive to that poor child in ways you, in all your selfish ways, cannot possibly fathom. While we'll all agree that babies are oh-so-cute, they are also a HUGE responsibility. They don't stay 3 months old and chubby forever...and it is your job, as a parent, to get that being to the age of 18 in one piece, as a responsible and functioning member of society. When you consider that there are people who can't even care for a cactus (to say nothing of my previous post in re: Mealy-Mouth Cyrus), you can understand that this is no easy task.

To add fuel to the fire, you are asking a baby -- a child -- to fix an adult relationship that the adults in question can't figure out for themselves. Doesn't a child deserve to...y'know...be a child?

I think the best comment on this matter was made in the link: If you're in a relationship and you're asking yourself "Should we have a child to save it?," then you're REALLY grabbing at straws and it's best to end the relationship immediately.

In my experience, "having a child to save a marriage" is about the cruelest, most evil thing the average, everyday individual might contemplate. Nothing like being raised in a household where you didn't magically "fix" your parents' inability to repair their own marriage, wind up resented for it, and internalize the blame -- and don't tell me kids don't -- for that failure.

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Having Kids Makes You Happy
By Lorraine Ali in NEWSWEEK

When I was growing up, our former neighbors, whom we'll call the Sloans, were the only couple on the block without kids. It wasn't that they couldn't have children; according to Mr. Sloan, they just chose not to. All the other parents, including mine, thought it was odd—even tragic. So any bad luck that befell the Sloans—the egging of their house one Halloween; the landslide that sent their pool careering to the street below—was somehow attributed to that fateful decision they'd made so many years before. "Well," the other adults would say, "you know they never did have kids." Each time I visited the Sloans I'd search for signs of insanity, misery or even regret in their superclean home, yet I never seemed to find any. From what I could tell, the Sloans were happy, maybe even happier than my parents, despite the fact that they were (whisper) childless.

My impressions may have been swayed by the fact that their candy dish was always full, but several studies now show that the Sloans could well have been more content than most of the traditional families around them. In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids. Other data cited by 2008's "Gross National Happiness" author, Arthur C. Brooks, finds that parents are about 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless.

The most recent comprehensive study on the emotional state of those with kids shows us that the term "bundle of joy" may not be the most accurate way to describe our offspring. "Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers," says Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. "In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

Simon received plenty of hate mail in response to her research ("Obviously Professor Simon hates her kids," read one), which isn't surprising. Her findings shake the very foundation of what we've been raised to believe is true. In a recent NEWSWEEK Poll, 50 percent of Americans said that adding new children to the family tends to increase happiness levels. Only one in six (16 percent) said that adding new children had a negative effect on the parents' happiness. But which parent is willing to admit that the greatest gift life has to offer has in fact made his or her life less enjoyable?

Parents may openly lament their lack of sleep, hectic schedules and difficulty in dealing with their surly teens, but rarely will they cop to feeling depressed due to the everyday rigors of child rearing. "If you admit that kids and parenthood aren't making you happy, it's basically blasphemy," says Jen Singer, a stay-at-home mother of two from New Jersey who runs the popular parenting blog MommaSaid.net. "From baby-lotion commercials that make motherhood look happy and well rested, to commercials for Disney World where you're supposed to feel like a kid because you're there with your kids, we've made parenthood out to be one blissful moment after another, and it's disappointing when you find out it's not."

Is it possible that American parents have always been this disillusioned? Anecdotal evidence says no. In pre-industrial America, parents certainly loved their children, but their offspring also served a purpose—to work the farm, contribute to the household. Children were a necessity. Today, we have kids more for emotional reasons, but an increasingly complicated work and social environment has made finding satisfaction far more difficult. A key study by University of Wisconsin-Madison's Sara McLanahan and Julia Adams, conducted some 20 years ago, found that parenthood was perceived as significantly more stressful in the 1970s than in the 1950s; the researchers attribute part of that change to major shifts in employment patterns. The majority of American parents now work outside the home, have less support from extended family and face a deteriorating education and health-care system, so raising children has not only become more complicated—it has become more expensive. Today the U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that it costs anywhere from $134,370 to $237,520 to raise a child from birth to the age of 17—and that's not counting school or college tuition. No wonder parents are feeling a little blue.

Societal ills aside, perhaps we also expect too much from the promise of parenting. The National Marriage Project's 2006 "State of Our Unions" report says that parents have significantly lower marital satisfaction than nonparents because they experienced more single and child-free years than previous generations. Twenty-five years ago, women married around the age of 20, and men at 23. Today both sexes are marrying four to five years later. This means the experience of raising kids is now competing with highs in a parent's past, like career wins ("I got a raise!") or a carefree social life ("God, this is a great martini!"). Shuttling cranky kids to school or dashing to work with spit-up on your favorite sweater doesn't skew as romantic.

For the childless, all this research must certainly feel redeeming. As for those of us with kids, well, the news isn't all bad. Parents still report feeling a greater sense of purpose and meaning in their lives than those who've never had kids. And there are other rewarding aspects of parenting that are impossible to quantify. For example, I never thought it possible to love someone as deeply as I love my son. As for the Sloans, it's hard to say whether they had a less meaningful existence than my parents, or if my parents were 7 percent less happy than the Sloans. Perhaps it just comes down to how you see the candy dish—half empty or half full. Or at least as a parent, that's what I'll keep telling myself.

I'm shooting the Warped Tour!!! (and Rascal Flats)

2008-07-10T14:40:00.000-04:00

I just found out that my request for credentials for the Warped Tour has been approved!!! I'll be sure to get a good night's sleep the night before...as the festival is supposed to be an all-day thing. (I've become my mother...good lord...)

More details to follow shortly. And, as usual, these will be done for my agencies.

Also, if there are any early birds, come find me shooting Rascal Flats tomorrow at 7:00a.m. for NBC. (You will need a New York City Press Pass to get in, so psycho groupies...stay home...your kind is not welcome there...)

Cruefest: Photos and Review

2008-07-09T10:40:00.001-04:00

Obviously, I can't post the original photos here, but if you go to my online portfolio HERE, you will see a few shots interspersed throughout from the show, with the Splash watermark (SIPA, whom I gave half the photos to, does not provide photo samples).

And now, a totally subjective, unprofessional review:

TRAPT: While I'm not a fan of their music (they had one good song -- "Headstrong"), I have to admire the fact that they're great showmen, not to mention completely professional, good sports who went on at 5:30 p.m. when there were maybe 100 people in the arena at the time. And they managed to win over every person in the crowd.

SIXX A.M.: It seems that this band had a song called "Life is Beautiful" on MySpace not long ago that went to Number One (what do I know...I have other things to do besides jerk around on MySpace), and as such, they had more than a slight advance buzz surrounding their performance. Having Nikki Sixx and DJ Ashba in the band didn't hurt, either. Still, they were quite good -- in fact, I venture to say they were the third-best band of the night (followed by Motley Crue and Buckcherry).

PAPA ROACH: Again, I'm not a fan of their music. However, lead singer Jacoby Shaddox (sp?) has such an infectious, positive energy. He came out on the stage spinning like a top from the get-go, annd didn't slow down for even a second.

BUCKCHERRY: There's hot. There's sexy. And then there's Josh Todd. Aside from the fact that he bears a passing resemblance to My Favorite Face, who bears a passing resemblance to Mick Jagger, there's something about him that's just so magnetic. He is what every front man should be: lean, tattooed, energetic, and raw. I mean, the 30-year-old, responsible adult, bill-paying me recognizes that he's trouble, and far from a desireable mate (or even a desireable "friend with benefits" -- you just know that he's had to take penicillin on more than one tour!)...but even the best of us couldn't take our eyes off him.

Prior to this night, I was a casual observer of Buckcherry -- I know four songs by them ("For the Movies," which was on constant rotation back in my salad, Island Ear days; "Lit Up," which is a rockin' anthem; "Sorry," which -- for a "power ballad" -- is pretty sincere; and "Crazy Bitch," a great song which I don't like for the simple fact that it gets every drunk, bleached-blond whore to "dance" -- if you consider having a grand mal seizure a form of "dancing" -- on a stripper pole. Aim high, babies. Aim high.), but after this night, I became a true fan.

I highly recommend their albums to all -- and buy them on iTunes, people. Support the band. No LimeWire-ing. And if you get a chance to see them live, take it!

MOTLEY CRUE: Of course. Now, ordinarily, I'm not a fan of bands who use pyrotechnics or other pomp and circumstance for their stage show -- just give me the rock'n'roll and STFU -- but in Motley's case, it actually worked. For a bunch of old guys (hey, I'm old too!), they're in pretty good shape: Vince Neil lost some weight, Nikki Sixx has been sober for quite some time, Tommy Lee is, well, Tommy Lee, and even poor Mick Mars didn't look like he was in as much pain as he usually is. (He even smiled at one point!) It was a nostalgia trip all the way -- Shout at the Devil, Wildside -- but all in all, it was a good time. Vince Neil was smiling like a kid in a candy store, and you can't help but catch his infectious energy (and as someone who's hung out with Vince on a few occasions -- in fact, at his solo show at the Downtown, I brought him out his birthday cake onstage -- I can honestly say that's the real Vince).

THE NIGHT IN GENERAL: It was so nice to run into a few old friends (Fingers from WBAB, who gave me a BIG huggum backstage). But, I have to admit, it was intimidating (at first) to be the only female photographer in the pit. That said, it was still a blessing to be there (and not for reasons that you think: Getty Images has a contract with all LiveNation venues, locking the rest of us out. It's only when Getty doesn't send a photographer that other agencies are allowed to send their troops in), and it wasn't long before I won the guys over.

One male photog said to me, and I quote, "you are probably the only female photog I've seen who doesn't come to shows to get her pu$$y eaten." Much as, on the surface, I was offended by his statement, upon further examination, I realized that he was completely correct in his assertion.

For all the strides we've made -- as women, as rock'n'rollers, as music industry professionals -- there are still so many females who use a camera as a "way in." They take the crappiest of photos, then go up to the promoters begging to "show the band" their work, while dressed in the sluttiest clothes with hair teased to the moon and more makeup on than a dimestore clown. (It ain't their photos they're showing, cowboy...)

It's females like this that make me ashamed of my gender, because they reinforce every misogynist stereotype men in general -- and rock'n'roll men in particular -- have about women in the business.

My biggest argument about rock'n'roll is that it isn't the men that made it hard on me -- it was either respect me or die, and I can point to countless examples of emasculated men who made the mistake of disrespecting me -- but the women, because I had to work against every stereotype they have created for myself (and other women) with their slutty actions and cuntragged attitudes.

(I can count, literally, on one hand the number of TRUE female concert photographers out there...and you could tell, just by looking at them that night, which females were there to work and which were there to work a pole. As another male colleague pointed out, the women who are here to work don't need the short skirts and the slutty behavior and the bodyguards to escort them...their confidence carries them through...)

I was talking about this with Michelle after the show. And, she made a very interesting point: Don't hate them -- they have nothing worth hating over. Instead, pity them -- what must it be like to be so talentless that their only claim to fame is being a groupie for a bar-band, posing as photographers and promoters to justify their groupiedom?

And she's right: I was never like that -- I was always blessed with actual talent. That bothers talentless, jealous people, hence the violent, venom-filled reactions of psycho groupies. But hey...that's fine. They dug their own grave -- I just threw them in it. ;-)

The way I see it is, I get to shoot the biggest bands in the world for the biggest magazines in the world, and they get to shoot the local bar-bands for their MySpace pages. Who's the asshole here?

And a good time was had by all..

The L Word features my George Clinton photos!

2008-07-01T16:17:00.000-04:00

OurChart.com, the official social network of Showtime's The L Word, has used my George Clinton photos!

You can click on the link HERE.

There's also an interview with George on the site.

(I think it says a lot about me, as a photographer, that photos from two years ago are relevant enough to continue to be used today, and on such a large scale...I refuse to go back in time and shoot the same things I shot two years ago, especially if the subjects are still vibrating on such a low frequency that they can't be arsed to -- in the words of Katt Williams -- keep it pushin' 'round here. Sorry. That's just me...)

EastWest (Poland) picked up my NYC Pride March photos!

2008-06-30T09:44:00.003-04:00

That was quick...thanks again, Splash!

http://www.eastnews.com.pl/news/temat.php?temat=00165811

(I would like to point out the muscle-daddy in pic no. 3. That face -- that body -- that TAN -- a fine specimen of manhood, David Incarnate, who is TOTALLY unavailable to me and every other woman. I'm officially a jellus h8r...LOL!)

Enjoy...

On Gay Marriage and Bridezillas...

2008-06-30T00:51:00.001-04:00

I spent the vast majority of the day, today, shootin' (the NYC Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride March) and schmoozin' (my mother, who runs a multi-billion dollar import/export business -- she has a Dunn and Bradstreet rating, and could afford David Roth for my sister, so she's no joke -- was in town for the Fancy Food Show, and I made it my business to smile and make nice on her behalf), and now I'm so damn tired I can't sleep.

With that said...after shooting the March today (for Splash and Sipa) and watching couples holding up signs that said, "Together for 53 Years!" (the fact that most straight couples don't stay together for that long notwithstanding, you have to remember that in the 1950's, in the good ol'U.S. of A., being gay was a crime, punishable by a very severe sentence -- so the fact that these people could get together at a very high risk, and stay together all these years, gave me hope about luuuurrrve...), I had to make the following statement about gay marriage:

I find it completely disheartening that these people -- who want nothing more than a public ceremony acknowledging their love for another person -- cannot get married simply because their preferred gender is their own. Meanwhile, someone like me -- a straight woman, who finds the concept of marriage to be a waste of time and resources at best, and an antiquated institution designed solely for gold-diggers and chauvinist pigs at worst, who could give (frankly) a good goddamn about marriage and has no intentions of marrying anyone, ever -- can get married to any reasonably attractive male who makes his intentions known.

Does "gay love" take away the sanctity of, say, my love for another man? No. If anything, it only makes it stronger, because seeing two people who really love each other puts a rainbow in my cold, black heart, and gives me hope in an otherwise-hopeless world.

Does "gay marriage" threaten the so-called "sanctity" of "straight marriage"? No. Straight people fucked up the concept of marriage all by themselves. And you see it every day in shows like Bridezillas, where matching candy-apple-colored napkins, destination weddings, Vera Wang dresses, and centerpiece arrangements take precedence over the, y'know, important shit like trust, communication, honesty, and -- gasp! -- love.

(All I could think about when I watched the all of 20 minutes of this latest reality-TV abomination was the poor, quivering, soon-to-be-eunuched mass of DNA known as the groom, who proclaimed his love to his increasingly-bitchy cuntrag of a soon-to-be wife -- who was always one tantrum away from spewing pea soup on her unsuspecting guests -- as she obsessed over the stupidest of minutiae involving aforementioned candy-apple-colored napkins and some far-flung ceremony on one of the many beaches of Puerto Rico. I couldn't help but make the comment: If you think it's bad now, cowboy, wait'll you're drunk enough to have kids with her. No wonder the kids today are so screwed up...don't get me wrong, I don't think having kids is necessarily a bad thing -- far from it -- but I don't think it's advisable to have kids when the parties involved are clearly incompatible. Kids don't "fix" marriages/relationships, and when you put that sort of pressure on them, you breed nothing but contempt on all fronts...)

I'm of the apparantly-unpopular belief that women should quit obsessing over the fucking wedding and start obsessing over the relationship. If your "beginning" involves a dog-and-pony show which does little more than put on a good face, that's all the entirety of your joke of a relationship will be. I believe that women should take the money they'd spend on that bullshit destination wedding, invest half of it in a 401(k), and spend the rest on things that make the relationship with her one-and-only the wonderful thing that it is (i.e., weekends-away, therapy, dates, gym memberships, ken po lessons, Brazilian waxing appointments...).

Imagine that: a relationship based on nothing except the mutual desire to be with one another. Shocking.

Besides, as Chris Rock once said, gay people have just as much right to be miserable as the rest of us.

(That said, I'm sure it won't be long before we see a gay version of Bridezillas now that homosexual unions are legal in two states -- two whole states! Whoop-de-doo! It's legal in the entire country of Canada, but what's 48 states amongst friends, eh? -- and I, for one, will be -- uh -- tickled pink to watch...)

Got picked up by Sipa Press!

2008-06-25T17:28:00.001-04:00

The news just gets better all the time...

I just got my concert photos picked up by Sipa Press! Sipa is the leading agency for all the music magazines around the world, including Spin, Vibe, and Rolling Stone.

Yes, I will still be shooting for Splash News and Cool Hunt, in case you were wondering. It just means more outlets, more concerts, more exposure...and more money (can never have enough of that).

Writing/photoing for Ellegirl, GQ, Marie Claire, and Vogue...

2008-06-23T21:55:00.001-04:00

Hi.

Just stopping in to tell everyone about the latest blessing given to me.

Over 2,000 photographers applied...only one was accepted. You're reading the blog of the one who was accepted.

So...as of this month...I will be writing/photographing on a spec/sell basis (I will receive a monthly fee, plus an additional fee for each placement; two placements per month are guaranteed) for Ellegirl, Marie Claire, GQ, and Vogue, thanks to a non-exclusive representation contract with the agency who deals directly with the publications (you can't just walk up to Anna Wintour's office and say, "Hi! I shoot no-name, no-talent, unsigned local bar bands. Can I shoot for Vogue?" You have to go through the agencies...and this requires countless portfolio reviews -- which, for the record, are HELL, but well worth it).

Though I'm no Diane Arbus -- no female so-called "photographer" should go through their professional career without learning about her life and her style; for the benefit of the up-and-comers, you can find out more about her HERE -- I pride myself on making each photo I take an honest, accurate representation of the person I photograph...and of myself. It doesn't matter if I'm on a red carpet, at a concert, in front of a runway, or walking down the street...if you're the heart-and-soul of a band, I'm going to capture it. If you're a pretender to the throne, I'm going to capture it. If you're beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside, I'm going to capture it.

(For the record, I have experience on both sides of the lens...but the reason I never went full throttle in front of the lens was two-fold: (a) I'm nobody's glorified coat-hanger, and I'm too intelligent to simply stand in one place and look bored; and (b) the rare occasions that I deemed the photographer intelligent enough to "get" me -- i.e., my VGF Jeff Forney -- notwithstanding, I wasn't willing to open an emotional vein for some moron with a megapixel machine [GWCs in model circles]. Besides, by nature, I'm an INFJ -- it's only natural that I'd feel more at home behind the scenes, pulling the strings, rather than the puppet getting her strings pulled...)

And...as I've said before...this is just the beginning.

(I suppose the assessment of "she [meaning me] wants to be like me [meaning you]" was WAY off, eh? Let's see:

I've been...in The Los Angeles Times, Vanidades, The Daily Mail, and Glamour (UK Edition). And now, you'll be seeing my name in Ellegirl, GQ, Marie Claire, and, oh yeah, this little magazine called Vogue.

You've been...shooting the same no-name bar band for the entire span of your illustrious "career." And if I may say so myself, my erstwhile friend, your photos have gotten progressively worse with, uh, age. This, of course, while you flit around in too-tight clothes that belong on women one-third your age, dancing like a fool in front of the stage in a vain attempt to show every other female in attendance that you're "with the BAAAAND, lyke OMGZ."

Yep. I want to be just like you. Guess my "infamy" paid off, eh? )

Updated Finespun Press Release

2008-06-20T11:17:00.000-04:00

NEW YORK BAND FINESPUN REMIXES SONGS FROM UPCOMING RELEASE “IN SPITE OF THE FEAR” WITH COLLECTIVE SOUL, ELTON JOHN, MEGADETH, PERRY FARELL PRODUCER AND ENGINEER ANTHONY J. RESTA AND KARYADI SUTJEDA

For more information, contact:
finespun@finespunmusic.com
631 582 9049

NEW YORK, NY (June 1, 2008) -- Hard-rockin' New York City outfit FINESPUN has just left the studio where they recorded their latest album, IN SPITE OF THE FEAR (original recording and pre production by Anthony Santonocito). Without the benefit of a major label or a solid distribution stream, FINESPUN's entire catalogue has moved more than 5,000 units and has brought them across the country to play for various industry conferences, including South by Southwest, North by Northeast, 2NMC, Millennium Music Conference, and NYC's own MEANYfest.

For this latest offering, FINESPUN has teamed up with producer ANTHONY J. RESTA and engineer KARYADI SUTJEDA to remix two songs ( “Against the Fallout” and “4 Walls, 1 Window”) for their upcoming effort . This powerhouse music industry team has collaborated with a wide variety of big-ticket musical names, including ELTON JOHN, MEGADETH, COLLECTIVE SOUL, and PERRY FARELL.

"When A.J. (Resta) chimed in that he wanted to work with us, we were very excited," said FINESPUN'S lead singer OREN BARAK. "With his kind of production credits, plus the fact that he's a super nice guy...it's just perfect. We plan to use this to our advantage -- we were given a rare opportunity, and we have no intention of making it go to waste."

IN SPITE OF THE FEAR, which is scheduled for release in Summer 2008, will enjoy distribution throughout F.Y.E. Stores thanks to FINESPUN's distribution deal with STRETCH THE SKIES ENTERTAINMENT. A deal is also in the works for Midwest distribution through Brimstone Records. In addition, IN SPITE OF THE FEAR will also be available on iTunes and Rhapsody(where fans can currently enjoy the rest of their catalogue).

FINESPUN, a New York City-based band, has been on the rotation of several radio stations across the country, including in California (KJMB), Ohio (WXTQ), Michigan (WMQT), Montana (KAAK), and New York (WCWP, WBAB, WGBB), as well as on over 200 podcasts, thanks to Ariel Publicity and The Howard Rosen Agency. In addition, their song "INVISIBLE" from their last release titled "AGAINST THE FALLOUT" was featured in an Accuvue commercial, on the company's webisodes of "Hampton High Revealed."

The band hopes to gain financing in order to facilitate a nationwide tour to support their album.

More information can be found by visiting the following:
http://www.finespunmusic.com
http://www.myspace.com/finespun
http://www.anthonyjresta.com
http://www.studiobopnique.com

Written by:
Akasha Multimedia
info@akashamultimedia.com
516-322-1101

Finespun records new album with Megadeth, Perry Farell producer and engineer

2008-06-02T08:23:00.001-04:00

STRETCH THE SKIES' ARTIST FINESPUN RECORDS NEW ALBUM WITH MEGADETH, PERRY FARELL PRODUCER AND ENGINEER

For more information, contact:
Akasha Multimedia
info@akashamultimedia.com
516-322-1101

NEW YORK, NY (June 1, 2008) -- Hard-rockin' New York City outfit FINESPUN is currently in the studio recording their latest album, AGAINST THE FALLOUT. Without the benefit of a major label or a solid distribution stream, FINESPUN's entire catalogue has moved more than 6,000 units and has brought them across the country to play for various industry conferences, including South by Southwest, North by Northeast, Millennium Music Conference, and NYC's own MEANYfest.

For this latest offering, FINESPUN has teamed up with producer ANTHONY J. RESTA and engineer Karyadi Sutjeda. This powerhouse music industry team has collaborated with a wide variety of big-ticket musical names, including ELTON JOHN, MEGADETH, COLLECTIVE SOUL, and PERRY FARELL.

"When A.J. (Resta) chimed in that he wanted to work with us, we were very excited," said FINESPUN'S lead singer OREN BARAK. "With his kind of production credits, plus the fact that he's a super nice guy...it's just perfect. We plan to use this to our advantage -- we were given a rare opportunity, and we have no intention of making it go to waste."

AGAINST THE FALLOUT, which is scheduled for release in Summer 2008, will enjoy nationwide distribution throughout all F.Y.E., Coconuts, and Wherehouse Music Stores thanks to FINESPUN's distribution deal with STRETCH THE SKIES ENTERTAINMENT. In addition, AGAINST THE FALLOUT will also be available on iTunes (where fans can currently enjoy the rest of their catalogue).

FINESPUN, a New York City-based band, is currently on heavy rotation on several radio stations across the country, including in California (KJMB), Ohio (WXTQ), Michigan (WMQT), Montana (KAAK), and New York (WCWP, WBAB, WGBB), as well as on over 200 podcasts and three Sirius satellite radio shows. In addition, they have enjoyed international airplay, and are currently in heavy rotation in Mexico and Saint Croix (Virgin Islands). The Howard Rosen Agency helped the band garner spins across the country. They have shared the stage with GILBY CLARKE (GUNS'N'ROSES, ROCKSTAR: SUPERNOVA), KING'S X, and THE BLACK CROWES, just to name a few. Recently, their song "INVISIBLE" from the upcoming "AGAINST THE FALLOUT" was featured in an Accuvue commercial, on the company's webisodes of "Hampton High Revealed."

The band plans to tour nationwide to support their album.

New review of SWS in Sonic Ruin!

2008-05-14T06:55:00.000-04:00

You know, it's pretty interesting that all this time later, our book is STILL making waves and being successful...but most of all, is INFLUENTIAL. Ultimately, we could be happy with unsuccessful (yeah, right...), but to be SUCCESSFUL and INFLUENTIAL...well, that's an honor you can't possibly deny.

For those of you who were asking about the follow-up, well, it's completed...AND there's some exciting news to come shortly, as well!!! Stay tuned to this space!!!

In the meantime, here's what Sonic Ruin had to say recently about Swimming with Sharks:

Swimming With Sharks - Written by Bernadette Giacomazzo and Melissa Deskovic
Our authors of this “self-help in the world of music” book are wise enough right off the bat to warn all of us that big success in the world of music is a very tough game, and one you are not likely to win at. But what they do promise you is a guide on how not to die too horribly, and possibly actually be able to survive it all. Instead of being a “how to make it big” book, it’s really a book on what to expect in band life, ideas on how to market yourself, and a bunch of tips on how not to be an idiot. Is it a worthwhile investment? Probably, it sure can’t hurt you.

My photos were published in Elle (UK) and Glamour (UK)! (Thanks to Splash...)

2008-05-01T11:33:00.001-04:00

Yup, the fashion magazines that I often read at the gym while plowing away on the treadmill (except the UK versions).

Last week, Splash News had a banner week in the USA, with almost 500 placements in more than 200 magazines. Splash uses ScanX software to track their photos, so any photo -- no matter how manipulated or closely cropped -- that Splash is in possession of is tracked immediately, which makes for easy billing (and easier trackdown of copyright infringement).

No sales for me there -- which is fine, because I've never been one to photograph the Paris-Lindsey-Britney-and-now-alas-Miley's of the world. Besides, the last time I sold a photo in the USA (to a hip-hop magazine) I made the all of $15, which buys me 3 gallons of gas in this economy.

This week they were tracking the UK/Europe sales -- another banner week, with over 300 placements in close to 200 magazines. I sold two of my photos -- one of Emily Mortimer, the other of Saffron Burrows -- to Elle (UK) and Glamour (UK) and made close to $400.

(The British pound, on today's exchange, is $1.97 -- almost $2! -- which means that if you sell a photo [as I did] for 85 British pounds sterling, you will make $167.45 per sale. Since I made two sales...y'know, at the rate the dollar is plummeting, I don't care if I never get published in the States again. It makes more sense for me to simply sell in the UK and Europe and attend events in NYC (and, when I'm out there, L.A.). This economy, man, I tell you...)

Still, it's pretty exciting. And more big news to come VERY shortly!!!

Add NY1 to my photo/video credits list!

2008-04-24T07:18:00.001-04:00

Talk about right place, right time...not only was I interviewed for the segment, they used my photos and video too.

http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?stid=1&aid=80428

A Final Thought...(for the night)

2008-04-10T01:40:00.000-04:00

I hate to say "I told you so," but...

after a bit of Google searching, sorting out the sycophantic press releases from the real reviews, and watching your fake, drama-loving, psycho-groupie-shagging, fame-whoring wannabe pathetic joke of a shell of a band that once had the potential to be the GOAT -- Greatest of All Time -- until you drove the Soul of the band out in absolute disgust get your collective asses handed to you in the form of scathing reviews (the haiku in Edmonton is just PRICELESS) and little-to-no-fan attendance (ten fat Cleveland groupies in the front row does not a rock star make), which could only translate into stagnant sales and 2a.m. Tuesday slots in Kansas...(and don't EVEN get me started on that broke-a-joke, yellow-toothed meth-head that you call your "lead guitarist")...

all I have to say, with great glee, is...

I TOLD YOU SO.

*pops popcorn as she watches the inevitable crash and burn*

I Know My Kid's a Star -- Blog in Prep for my PhD

2008-04-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

This will all make sense as my dissertation/thesis advisor is announced. Some of you already know what it’s about (no, it’s not about bad reality TV; to be frank, were I not involuntarily laid up today, I wouldn’t be able to do this, but all things for a reason, I guess), and for those of you who don’t, well...stay tuned..

---

Let me start out by saying the following: As most of you already know, I have zero tolerance for relentless fame-whores, groupies, and shitty mothers. Lucky for me, this show manages to combine all three elements. (I knew that science degree would come in handy -- break out the dissection kit!)

Ultimately, though, I could care less what the aforementioned groups -- collectively known as "wastes of human DNA" -- do with their lives. After all, they’re all (in the vast majority of cases) consenting adults. Besides, what they do has no effect on my life in the slightest -- because, quite frankly, I’m better than all of them put together (conceited? No, confident. And honest. You’re no better than a whore if you allow people to take slutty photos of you dancing on a pole, humping the leg of every wannabe rock star, and shoving your tongue down the throat of every sentient being with a Y chromosome. In fact, I venture to say that whores are better than you, because at least whores are honest about it, have the good sense to make money in the process, and don’t have the almost-pathetic desire to be accepted by an industry that views you as the talentless hacks you really are...).

So, onto this train-wreck...

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of seeing this show, it’s a "reality show" hosted by Danny Bonaduce, drug-addict/former child star/trainwreck, and Marki Costello (I know, I know), granddaughter of Lou Costello and sometime Hollywood booking agent. The premise is to find the one child that has the "It" factor (whatever that means, however subjective of a term) and make him/her into the Next Big Thing.

Hmmm.

First and foremost, I know that every parent thinks their little Johnny and/or Amber is oh-so-special, destined to be the next President of the United States of America, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, or WTF-ever else parents may dream of for their spawn. But as someone who’s been in this field for an awfully long time (at least by the field’s standards), I highly despise parents who believe that putting their eight-year-old child -- a child whom, however "indigo" s/he may be, does not have the reasoning processes of an adult, nor does s/he have a sense of self that a secure, mature adult would have -- in an industry that is notorious for destroying fully-formed, functioning adults.

Why? Because this industry -- unlike, I would venture to say, any other -- takes pride in eating its young. A parent’s primary responsibility -- contrary to the whoredoms of some of the aforementioned shitty mothers out there, who leave their kid behind in New England to suck the collective cock of the first wannabe rock star that pays them any attention (yeah, I’m talking to you, and I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like it, because you know where to find me, and I’ll take you face-to-face anytime you have the balls...unlike you, I back myself up!) -- is to nurture and protect their young, and to help them reach the age of 18 safely and securely, with a firm sense of self-responsibility and self-knowledge.

Ergo, the two (parenting and the entertainment industry) are automatically incongruous.

I don’t mean to say that there aren’t some kids out there that have genuine musical and/or acting ability, nor do I venture to say that there aren’t some children out there that aren’t supermodel-gorgeous. Indeed, if any of the above-mentioned talents apply to your child, and s/he genuinely wants to get into the field (please note the emphasis), then I am all about allowing your child to develop his/her talents to their fullest potential. Just remember, however, to be a PARENT first and foremost. You will have plenty of time to be your kid’s friend -- you only have 18 years to make the most of your impact as a parent (and those years fly). Don’t let them give up their education (and make them put down the microphone for the microscope if their grades slip) because "ain’t nothin’ worse than a dumb-smart motherfucker" (with thanks to Katt Williams). And for Gods’ sake, protect them from the sharks in the entertainment industry (and Lord knows there are plenty).

The problem becomes, when a parent forces a child into a field that s/he doesn’t want to go into, or tries to live his/her dreams through the child, all sorts of psychological trauma comes into play. When you add the natural train-wreck quality of a reality show, it’s a full-blown disaster waiting to happen.

In other words, it’s become I Know My Kid’s a Star.

This competition among wanna-be child stars and their wanna-be stage parents isn’t bad in the campy kind of way of, say, I Love New York and Rock of Love.

Why? Because, again, while Tiffany "New York" Pollard and Bret "Wigzilla" Michaels are over-the-top, relentless famewhores with questionable talent, they -- and all the participants in their shows -- are adults (at least by the legal definition of the term, especially judging by the looks of the skanks on the latter’s show. I didn’t think one needed a visit to the free clinic simply by watching a TV show, but hey, I’ve been wrong before...). In so being, they are aware -- however marginally -- of themselves, what’s expected of them in this "reality television" world, and they are able to walk away from the scenario without any permanent psychological scars (what sort they inflict on the viewer, however, is another matter entirely).

I Know My Kid’s a Star, on the other hand, involves children, most whom are years away from being a teenager (in the legal sense of the word). And that’s what makes it extremely creepy.

At its worst (and "worst" is not just one fleeting moment) it’s cynical. It lures you in with the reassuring promise that it’s going to steer the contestants away from the snake pit of child stardom and then can’t wait to showcase painful scenes of overbearing parents and uncomfortable children.

Two parents, on opposite ends of the spectrum, stuck out most in my mind:

1. Rocky and Hayley. Full disclosure: I actually starred in a commercial for Rocky’s show Impossible Heists, so -- however tangentially -- I’ve got less than one degree of separation from the show (lucky me...). Rocky -- a/k/a Melissa Brasselle, of The DeMarco Sisters line of entertainers -- has made a name for herself as a stuntwoman, an actress (B-level), and an all-around entertainer (see sources at Impossible Heists). Her daughter, Hayley, is a precocious, attractive little gipper, wise beyond her years, often reeling her mother in from her various rantings.

I question how much the latter truly wants the dreams that the former envisions for her, although I have to admit the latter has natural talent that -- like a diamond in the rough -- needs to be polished and improved upon. (Not many people have natural talent, much as this I’m-OK-you’re-OK culture would like us to believe...)

One thing is for sure: Rocky, for all her purported crazy, is no dummy. She knows what’s expected of her on a reality show (see Impossible Heists), and she delivers every single time. Also, unlike the other mothers on the show, she has a strong working knowledge of the business, and she’s eager to share her experiences with her daughter and the other children. And, however many times she may stumble and fall, Rocky seems to genuinely care for her daughter.

Which brings me to...

2. Gigi and Alai: First and foremost, way to perpetuate every misogynist, racist stereotype out there. The only difference between Gigi and the Flavor of Love girls is the fact that there’s a kid involved -- on front and center, besides (perfect example: when Gigi goes fishing through the garbage, and the toilet, to find Rocky’s purported "weave," as every other mother is telling her, "It’s not worth it. Stop it. Let it go." Gigi’s answer to all of them is, "I don’t like liars." Hello? She is not giving a deposition to Congress on the Enron scandal, you idiot. She’s acting on a reality show. Besides, she’s a grown woman -- if she’s not asking you for money, she’s entitled to wear a weave if she wants to!).

Second, Rocky may be -- through the magic of editing -- portrayed as the crazy one, but Gigi is just plain evil. However much "editing" went into the show -- and I have no doubt that there was plenty -- the producers can’t edit what you don’t give them. In other words, if you swing on a pole like a stripper, make out with every guy like a whore, and hump the leg of every wannabe rock star like a dog in heat -- all on camera -- you can't cry and whine and say "I AM NOT A GROUPIE!"

That’s the deal with Gigi: though they may have "edited" her to be evil, she certainly gave them enough evidence to support that fact (her, screaming in her kid’s face: "Say ’I’m the next child star!’ SAY IT!" Admitting that she crashes auditions to get her daughter seen (a guaranteed way to burn every bridge in the industry). Digging through the garbage pail for the weave. And so on...).

David Hinckley, of The New York Daily News, offers the best summary of the show:

"What is true is that when the contestants and parents line up, none of the kids seems to look very happy. The other parents may be less dangerous than Rocky, but they’re still the ones who beam and cheer while the kids dutifully do what they’re told. Most of the time.

For a show about cute kids who can sing or dance, "I Know My Kid’s a Star" has surprisingly little joy or fun. Mostly it’s sad, which is not the same as "bad."

Because it’s an eight-episode series, it’s possible these dark early episodes are setting us up for a sunburst of enlightenment. By then, most viewers will likely have moved on, with the parting hope that these kids grow up to be something other than professional screwups."

Let’s hope so. For the children’s sake, let’s hope so.

Things I'll Never Hear at a Family Get-Together

2008-04-04T17:52:00.003-04:00

From my sister:
-Hey, Sophie-Ellis Prescott-Bush! We went to Sidwell together!
-Your Honor, though I disagree with your decision, I understand your reasoning, and will respect it.

From my cousin Marina:
-You know, I think I'm going to become celibate. My sex life is getting in the way of my career.
-I'll have a club soda, please.

From my cousin Paula:
-You like these pants? I got'em at Wal-Mart. It was double-coupon day.
-It won't be the same without Jerry, but Bob Weir and Ratdog are touring, and I'm hoping for a miracle. Gotta tune up the Vanagon.

From me:
-Everyone, this is Jim-Bob Hatchett. We met at the monthly NRA meeting. I'm gonna fix everyone a big ol'steak dinner.
-DAWG! WASS GOOD! Holla 'atcha girl, yo! Mah baby-daddy been bringin' the drama, but I'm keepin' it tight!

From my uncle Al:
-I'm selling the motorcycle. Mid-life crisis over. Time to settle down.
-Everyone, I'd like you all to meet my new wife! Isn't she precious?

From my aunt Lydia:
-I know nothing about anything you just said.
-Welcome! It's so nice to see you (said sincerely, without a trace of sarcasm).

From my mother:
-I try not to pre-judge the people I meet. I mean, I don't know all the facts.
-What a sweet man. You know, he reminds me of my husband.

---
As if your family is normal...

My photos were published in VANIDADES, BOSSIP.COM, THE INDEPENDENT (Ireland), and THE DAILY MAIL!!!

2008-04-01T18:04:00.001-04:00

Thank you (x 1 million infinity) to Splash for this excellent news! Hopefully I'll have some tear sheets soon...but it just goes to show you...you can say what you want about me, but the right people know the truth, and are not impressed with your groupie, piece-of-crap "shots."

The interesting thing is...because these were sold in foreign markets (with the exception of Bossip), I got paid in Euros or Pounds Sterling...meaning I got more money, dollars-and-cents-wise, for the same price.

I also just sent some exclusive shots from the movie shoot yesterday...there will be more blogs about this to come!!! (Lots of funny stories where we make fun of stupid groupies...good times, good times...)

Also, starting in April, I will be a regular on a Television Series.

In January 2009, I start PhD dissertation.

And within the next week, I will be making an announcement about my agency representation for acting and modeling (I'm going over the contracts now with my attorney).

There's much more on the horizon...stay tuned...there's gonna be blood!

Random Convos in my Cell Phone Text Messages

2008-03-28T21:53:00.002-04:00

BEST. CONVERSATION. EVER.
Michelle: Bern, I think someone just took a shit in the train. No lie.
Me: ROTFLMAO!
Michelle: I'm serious. I think some bum took a shit and wrapped it in newspaper.
Me: What line are you on? The N, R, or W?
Michelle: The N.
Me: Oh yeah. That's a scary one.
Michelle: (holding nose)

LOVE, SICILIAN STYLE
The ex before last: My new girlfriend liked you.
Me: Good to hear.
The ex before last: She said you were a really down to earth chick.
Me: You surprised?
The ex before last: You told me she was as dumb as a brick.
Me: No, I didn't. I said she was dumber than a box of rocks. Get it right.
The ex before last: She told me she was a model.
Me: The only thing that genius is modeling is the "before" shot for Xenadrine.
The ex before last: Are you saying she's ugly?
Me: I'm saying that it's highly doubtful she models couture with all those stretch marks. Not to mention, she's five-two.
The ex before last: She can't help the stretch marks. She had a baby.
Me: Where's the kid at?
The ex before last: I don't know.
Me: That's what I loved about you: your attention to the important details.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CELEBRITY PHOTOGRAPHER
Me: What's interesting these days?
Kevin: The usual red carpet stuff. Nothing to write home about.
Me: I've got a documentary coming up in a week and a half.
Kevin: The Pope's coming to New York City soon.
Me: So?
Kevin: Thought you should know.
Me: Well the photos will certainly sell.
Kevin: I was talking about for the Mass.
Me: For who?
Kevin: You.
Me: Are you aware that I am nothing if not severely lapsed in my Catholicism?
Kevin: Well, I'm going.
Me: You're Jewish!
Kevin: I was talking about the photos.

Add JEZEBEL to my ever-growing publication list! Thanks (x a million) to Splash News!

2008-03-05T11:39:00.000-05:00

Two nights ago, I attended the premiere of THE BANK JOB, starring Jason Statham (a sweetheart) and Saffron Burrows (not so much).

Others in attendance included Milena Govich (whom I've photo-ed before on a few occasions, back when she was on Law and Order, and whom I got a great picture of -- so far, I've photoed nearly every L&O cast member except for the two new castmembers...but all in good time!), Vincent Pastore (FORZA ITALIA! Very proud to be a paisana...), Joe Pantoliano (see comments at Vincent Pastore), Alan Cumming, and designer Nicole Miller.

Today, I find out that my photos from that premiere got published in JEZEBEL!
Here is the link:
http://jezebel.com/927698/10642/nyc-premiere-of-miramax-pictures-the-bank-job-wjason-statham

I'm reminded of a quote given to me by Sir Charles Cudd: Love your haters -- they're your biggest fans!

So, to all my haters -- to all the psycho groupies -- to all the homewrecking sluts and wannabes and d^(k-sucking wastes of human skin with zero talent and raging entitlement issues -- all I have to say is, DO YOUR JOB AND KEEP HATING! Because each time you do, you only succeed in making ME more successful. So keep the the hate coming -- LOVE AND LIGHT, eh, you stupid cows? ;-)

My photos hit GAWKER and DEFAMER! Thanks to Splash News!

2008-03-04T14:47:00.000-05:00

In the same week that I find out that my record is TOTALLY clean (thanks to Intelius) -- AND that I'm going to be in a Broadway play on June 2nd (and possibly the 9th) -- AND that my photos hit the DC paper Wonkette -- AND that I'm going to be co-starring in a movie with Phil Lewis of L.A. Guns...

I've also found out that my photos made the oft-visited blogs DEFAMER and GAWKER!

Here are the links:
Gawker:
http://gawker.com/908946/10642/5th-annual-hip+hop-action-network-awards-wsnoop-dogg--more

Defamer:
http://defamer.com/893535/10642/ny-special-screening-of-miramax-films-city-of-men

The GAWKER feature is on the Hip Hop Action Network Awards, the DEFAMER feature is on the CITY OF MEN movie premiere.

(To paraphrase Vin Diesel in The Chronicles of Riddick: You should have killed me when you had the chance, eh? ;-] )

Ladies and Gentlemen...Bernadette Giacomazzo, journalist and editor-at-large, has arrived...

2008-02-27T12:36:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote a story on the predicament at Mercy Hospital (you can Google it if you want to, I'm too busy to go into details at the moment).

Needless to say, when you write a story on a respected Catholic institution, you're inevitably going to draw some fire.

I figured this out long before I began writing for the Herald -- back in the day at Our Lady of Mercy, in 1994 (junior year -- damn, I am old!), we had a whole discussion in Theology class (which, in and of itself, was a misnamed class, because we never studied any god outside of the one the Catholics believed in) because there was a movie in limited release out, around Easter-time, named "Priest."

(Would it be that I would ever forget this discussion...it was the same day I found out, in the same class, that I had won a county-wide poetry competition. The theme: justice. I got a certificate, a pat on the back, and a treat to dinner by my mother at Dr. Periwinkle's, now closed...)

So there was this whole discussion in class surrounding this movie -- Bishop Donahue of the Catholic League had gone on record damning the movie, the cast, and everyone and anyone who dared to watch this movie, straight to Hell -- and of course, Ms. Gordon (who, in retrospect, was pretty cool, albeit a bit misguided) brought up what a BAD IDEA -- REALLY BAD IDEA -- it was to watch this film, because, y'know, that whole GAY PRIEST thing, well...you know how Catholics feel about gays. And a gay priest would SO never happen, 'cuz, you know, priests are the moral beacons of guidance, and we'll never talk to God if we don't respect our priests...

Apparantly, it had escaped the notice of the Powers that Be that the title character was suffering a moral crisis because of a report of incest. Incest, it seemed, was OK with Catholics -- and, as the movie pointed out, a very Pope had once given the man a right to commit incest because he paid the right price -- but CONSENSUAL sex between two ADULT men, well, we were ALL going to Hell for that one (though I'm sure that had the Priest been "with" the altar boys in the vestry, it would have been TOTALLY fine, given the Church's subsequent response to abuse allegations).

Years later, when I actually saw the movie -- and the guy-on-guy scene in question -- I was nothing but EXTREMELY TURNED ON. Brokeback Mountain had NOTHING on this scene. The Notebook had NOTHING on this scene. THAT $HIT WAS HOT. I was SWEATING. As far as I'm concerned, if that makes me a sinner, you can all take a seat right next to me in Hell. Just put that scene on constant loop on my TV and I will be GOLDEN, thank you very much.

ANYWAY...back to the matter at hand...

So anyway, I get a letter in my Inbox today, and it never ceases to amaze me how people's stupidity -- clouded by brainwashing and their own personal agenda -- knows no bounds...

---

Mr. Giacomazzo:

Being a resident of RVC, and being born at Mercy, as well as my children; I am outraged by your headlines on the front page of the Herald. This is not responsible Journalism. A disgruntled employee makes “allegations” and the Herald carries it on the front page. Has the Department of health issued their findings? Has the Office of Professional Medical Conduct issued their findings? Has the NY Joint Commission issued their findings? The answer to all of these questions is no, however your headlines infer scandal. I believe this is totally unfair and as you are well aware the damage to the institution is already done. I wonder how the Herald would react if a disgruntled employee made allegations of an anti Catholic bias at the paper and it was carried on the front page by all the other local publications.

Thank You

John Sullivan

---

Uh-huh. So someone makes a claim against a Catholic hospital -- it becomes front-page news -- the hospital gets SKEWERED on the news (ABC, especially, had Mercy over a barrel) -- but little old me, who reported the facts as she saw them, has so much power, and so much influence, managed to destroy the hospital in 750 words or less.

Damn -- I am FLATTERED. I suppose ol'Willie was right when he said the pen was mightier than the sword.

Anyway, this was my response...

---

Mr. Sullivan:

First, the headline to my story in no way infers "scandal." It states the obvious facts: charges fly at Mercy. The Herald, as a paper, does not condone -- nor engage in -- salacious headlines.
Had my executive editor deemed the headline as "scandalous," it would have never run, let alone on the front page.
The definition of "responsible journalism" is to simply report both sides of the story, and let the reader decide for him/herself which side they choose to believe, leaving bias and personal feelings out of the reporting. I have done so, and I continue to do so in each story I write.

If I were an irresponsible journalist, I would be writing for a low-level groupie rag like Metal Edge, not a newspaper with an established, award-winning, nationwide professional reputation.

Second, as I'm sure you're aware, the mainstream news media has been much less forgiving towards Mercy than I -- and the Herald -- have been. If you follow ABC News, particularly, they have all but condemned Mercy site unseen, without regard for statements to the contrary. I state with unequivocal conviction that more people watch ABC News than read the Herald, and I can assure you that -- by virtue of that fact alone -- any bias that people have against Mercy existed long before I wrote a fair and balanced article. To paraphrase John Steinbeck, the grapes of wrath were already growing in the hearts and minds of people.

The fact is, it is irresponsible to assume that by reporting the facts as they were presented, I have somehow "damaged" Mercy's reputation in any way. I simply report facts. However readers choose to conclude these facts is their own affair.

I appreciate your ties to Mercy as a hospital, and I have no doubt that you've received quality care (as have many), however, the facts remain that there are allegations pending which have yet to reach a conclusive end. To simply state that "Mercy's right, the doctor is wrong," or vice versa, simply because the hospital is a RVC institution -- or, worse yet, a CATHOLIC institution -- THAT is irresponsible, Mr. Sullivan.

As I've said to several people on several occasions, I further no one's agenda in my reporting, regardless of my political leanings, religious beliefs, or personal moral system. Perhaps that makes me a blind idealist, but I can rest assure you that Bernadette Giacomazzo is one reporter -- indeed, one person -- that cannot, and will not, EVER be bought or sold, regardless of the price tag or the fame and glory at stake. Though that made be hard to believe in this instant-celebrity world, where MySpace has turned every no-talent famewhore into a "model," an "actress," and/or a "star," it is what it is, like it or not.

In other words, I stand by my story.

Sincerely,
Bernadette Giacomazzo
ps: That's MS. Giacomazzo to you, sir.

My Letter to Fox News (R.I.P. Heath Ledger 1979-2008)

2008-01-24T16:04:00.000-05:00

Knowing Fox News, this letter won't do any good, but hey, at least I said my piece...

For those who don't know...Think Progress reports that John Gibson repeatedly mocked actor Heath Ledger on his radio show yesterday, hours after the young man died suddenly.

Playing an audio clip of the iconic quote, 'I wish I knew how to quit you' from Ledger’s gay romance movie Brokeback Mountain, Gibson disdainfully quipped, 'Well, he found out how to quit you.' Laughing, Gibson then played another clip from Brokeback Mountain in which Ledger said, 'We’re dead,' followed by his own, mocking 'We’re dead' before playing the clip again."

Gibson called Ledger a "weirdo" with a "serious drug problem" and suggested that Ledger killed himself because he had "a serious position in the (stock) market" or perhaps "watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant."

This was my (irate, but professional) letter to the Powers That Be over at the (anything but) fair and balanced network. I encourage all of you to write to Fox News and comment on this unprofessional behavior. (I expect this kind of bullshit from psycho groupies posing as journalists...not so-called "real journalists" in the field...)

Fox's e-mail address is comments@foxnews.com.

----

January 24, 2008

To whom it may concern:

As a journalist, I am compelled to write to you today to air my grievances about John Gibson's recent remarks about the deceased actor Heath Ledger.

First and foremost, as Fox News frequently trumpets (but as of yet, has failed to follow), the point of journalism of ANY stripe is to be "fair and balanced." In other words, it is inherent in our job descriptions -- as journalists -- to be arbiters of the news, not the news itself. We are called upon to do so in an intelligent, thought-provoking way, without allowing personal vendettas or opinions to get in the way.

Gibson has every right to his opinion (however biased and unfounded it may be), but to set it forth in what is supposed to be a professional newscast, in such a way that is more indicative of hate-filled homophobia (Gibson, referring to Jake Gyllenhaal's famous line in "Brokeback Mountain," remarked that Ledger "finally found a way to quit you, ha ha ha") than anything remotely resembling journalistic integrity is uncalled for...to say nothing of the fact that, regardless of Mr. Gibson's political leanings, suggesting that someone would kill himself/herself over the outcome of any presidential debate is nothing short of irresponsible, ridiculous, and borderline psychotic.

Second, and to that end, is Mr. Gibson aware that Mr. Ledger played a PART in the movie...that Mr. Ledger is not, and never has been, "Ennis the Gay Cowboy"? Has journalism taken such a nosedive that its corps can no longer distinguish between fantasy and reality...or has Mr. Gibson's homophobia become so ingrained within him that he is willing to compromise a professional platform to further his prejudice?

My career as a journalist has its roots in entertainment critiques, and speaking with that hat, I am here to inform you that Mr. Ledger did a quite AMAZING job in portraying a gay cowboy from Wyoming in Brokeback Mountain. The role called for an emotional complexity and range that few (if any) actors of his generation are able to pull off, and Mr. Ledger did so with such conviction and finesse that, not only did he earn countless award nominations (including an Academy Award) for his portrayal as Ennis, he managed to blur the line between the reality of his existence and the fantasy of his character (as Mr. Gibson demonstrated so hatefully).

Finally, and on a more positive note, I had the frequent pleasure of encountering Mr. Ledger on several red carpet events that I photographed. In my experience, and regardless of whatever personal demons he may (or may not) have had, I always observed him to be cordial and professional to all in the corps whom he encountered. Since I'm bothering to be fair, I must also mention that, in the hundreds of events I've photographed throughout my entire journalistic career, the vast majority of "stars" that were LESS than cordial and professional were those who were dyed-in-the-wool, All-American good-ol-boys that Fox News seems to hold in such high regard.

(This is not to say that ALL stars are like this...not in the slightest...but those that behaved as though they were raised by wolves were, more often than not, of the good-ol-boy variety...)

I ask Mr. Gibson to please consider the fate of Mr. Ledger's former girlfriend, Michelle Williams, and their young daughter Matilda Rose (a daughter whom, by all accounts, he cared for and adored beyond measure -- a claim that, say, Strom Thurmond cannot stake), the next time he chooses to use a journalistic platform to spew hatred about an actor -- or ANYONE -- who died all-too-young, and who didn't (and doesn't) deserve the hostility.

Sincerely,
Bernadette Giacomazzo

Mowisz po polsku? My YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH photos hit Poland!

2008-01-01T21:28:00.000-05:00

Once again, thanks to Splash News and Picture Agency for this!

A great way to start off the year...my photos of Youth Without Youth (the new Francis Ford Coppola film) hit Poland!

You can check it out HERE.

(My photos of Francis Ford Coppola [a total sweetheart], Tim Roth [a total dickhead], and Alexandra Maria Lara [quiet, shy, and retiring, but kind and professional nonetheless] are in the first two rows, and scattered throughout the collection. I'm up there with photographers from Getty and SIPA Press, so it's quite an honor...)

The Film Critics Circle Awards are next...watch this space!

---

Incidentally, in case anyone was wondering: Splash News is the fourth-largest photo agency in the world (behind WireImage, Getty, and Corbis), so being represented by them is no small feat.

How, you ask, did this representation happen?

I mean, sure, I'm a talented photographer -- not conceited, just honest -- but there are several professional photographers out there who, frankly, are much better than me and have no representation (I'm not referring to the Groupies With Cameras here...).

So how did it happen?

Well, you all remember that incident about 2 years ago involving a certain old hag psycho groupie posing as a photographer, who tried to claim a certain award-winning black and white photo -- featured in an official Fall Fashion Week exhibit -- of a certain guitarist/Fave Face was HERS?

(I know...I'm laughing too, considering the rule of thirds, according to her, involves the slicing of a cake; and her work has gotten progressively worse over time, if that's at all possible...though it wasn't so funny at the time...)

At the time, I'm sure you all know, I was using a film SLR, so I had the negative. And of course, having professional testimonials -- one of which included the now-immortal line "[The psycho groupie] is either mistaken or doing this as part of a petty, needless, and unprovoked vendetta against Ms. Giacomazzo. For [The psycho groupie]'s sake, I hope it's the former. If it's the latter, I wouldn't want to be her." -- didn't hurt, either.

BUSTED.

Not only did I make her look like a total fool (which wasn't, on its face, hard to begin with); not only did I make sure (and continue to make sure) that every professional door is slammed in her face; not only did she get the ream-out of her life from the professional organization that she made this staggering, outright false claim to; but when I got the call from Splash in regards to my port (realize, I had submitted my port about six months prior; I got the call the day I cleared my name, complete with a groveling, pathetic apology all but begging me not to pursue legal avenues from the organization on behalf of the psycho groupie), they figured the following...

If my work is so good that some nobody is trying to make a name off of it, it must be good enough for representation.

(I didn't disappoint, either...not counting all the international outlets, I got SEVEN of my photos published thus far, not bad for a young'un; a few for an ad campaign for The Grosby Group, a few more in The L.A. Times...)

Sometimes, instant karma is the most just, and the most merciful.

So...with that in mind...all I gotta say is, keep talking shit. You're making me famous. :-)

How To Be Successful (Blender-style Interview)

2007-11-18T19:54:00.000-05:00

You all know that section in Blender magazine where they ask the famous person of the hour their four-step answer to some how-to question or another (e.g., how to book a ticket, how to cut your hair, etc.).

Inspired by this, I have decided to do this to myself, and share the results with you, in a four-part answer to the statement, "How To Be Successful."

(1) DO Surround Yourself With Successful People. Good company inspires you to be a better person. Stop surrounding yourself with lackeys, toadys, hangers-on, morons, and -- most of all -- WHORES. The novelty of being the biggest fish in the pond wears off in a VERY short while, and while it may feel good to ALWAYS be told how (hot/sexy/smart/etc./insert compliment here) you are, the compliments will feel hollow if it's the same ones, over and over, with no progression in sight. Also, people who "just get by" and have no passion and zest for life will do nothing but drag you down in the end. Finally, time has proven my mother's old saying right -- "Show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are." If you surround yourself with nothing but assholes, morons, gold-diggers, homewreckers, child-abandoners, scam-artists, and whores, chances are you are not someone that a truly successful person would want to get to know on ANY level.

(2) DO NOT Waste Your Time With Faux-Intellectuals. In the immortal words of Katt Williams, "Ain't nothin' worse than a dumb smart person." Faux-intellectuals make you look foolish, and will quickly demote the respect people may have of you.

(3) DO Always Strive For Bigger, Better, Faster, and More. New opportunities are always arising, and successful people are always looking to branch out, grow their product, and spread their name around. If you succeed at something, don't just coast by on the success of that one thing...put it under your belt, and either set your bar higher, or set a new hurdle for yourself and CONQUER it. (Face it...as a successful woman in the music industry once opined to me, "You're better off being a successful bitch than an unsuccessful whore...because a successful bitch will ALWAYS be able to support herself.")

(4) DO NOT Abuse Your Body With Poor Diet, Lack of Sleep and/or Exercise, Promiscuous Sex, and/or Excess Alcohol and/or Drugs. If you compromise yourself in ANY way physically, it will eventually manifest itself in other ways...why do you think Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Spears have become national punchlines? Blowing off steam on occasion is one thing, but CONSTANTLY doing cocaine in the Snitch bathroom, dancing on poles, making out with random guys (and girls), and basically comporting yourself like a Spring Breaker on Padre Island will eventually make you look (and act) like a used-up barfly...all things NOT conducive to being a successful person on ANY level.

Splash News just sold SEVEN of my photos!

2007-10-22T21:13:00.000-04:00

Count'em, bitches!

So I get home today from The Metropolitan Opera, and what should be on my desk in a pile of mail but a check from Splash News!

Go to open it up...they sold SEVEN of my photos!

That's right, folks. SEVEN!!!

Count'em!!

(For those of you who have missed seeing me on the red carpet, and at concerts...RELAX...I had to heal a little bit [remember my accident? Yeah, that was kinda brutal...for me to actually take time off to recouperate, it must've been PRETTY big...rest assured, it was!]...but beginning 1 November 2007, I AM BACK. AND BETTER THAN EVER. You can either follow me or get out of my way...either way, I DON'T CARE...if your only claim to fame is photographing "hometown heroes," YOU AREN'T EVEN IN MY UNIVERSE, LET ALONE MY LEAGUE. Stop being a groupie and then come talk to me.)

Now, keep in mind: Splash only sells to newspapers, magazines, and television shows. No "fansites," no online sites, no fartin' around. The real-deal Holyfields, baby.

And WAIT until you see WHERE these babies landed!!!

I could see some of your eyes spinning in fury as I type this...muah hah hah hah!!!

(I know YOU may not believe in Karma...but *I* do...remember that SUCCESS is the BEST REVENGE...)

Anyway...stay tuned to this space. Tear sheets/links, and more NEW photos, coming VERY SOON!!!

The 59th Street Bridge Song

2007-09-02T04:22:00.000-04:00

So...I saw the little one today.
Looks EXACTLY like him.
She's so pretty, besides.
Beautiful, in fact.
When they get older, I'm going to have to lecture Tony and Julian (especially Julian, THAT one's gonna be a heartbreaker...not that Tony isn't, it's just that Julian is moreso) that THAT little one is not for the taking, OR the breaking...

'Course the mother looks the worse for wear.
On the other hand, she was never a raving beauty to begin with.
Neither on the outside, nor the inside.
And I doubt that the little one has made a difference in her shitty gold-digging attitude.
She may as well get a tattoo across her forehead: "Baby=Paycheck."

Yup, Mother disgusts me.

But you know...for the first time, in the long time that I know him, HE is happy. And HE looks much healthier than he's ever looked.

And if that's what the little one does for him, then I say, with all conviction, may the Gods be at her back, and may the Goddess rest a flower on her pretty little forehead.

I'm happy for him.

And you know what's funny?
I'm happy for me, too.
Because, today, I was once again in the presence of someone amazing...and in the words of Paul Simon, "Life, I love you. All is groovy. La la la, ba da ba da da da da..." (from "The 59th Street Bridge Song")

Be they baby or adult...when you have someone in your life that makes you feel amazing, because they themselves are amazing...you start to sing "The 59th Street Bridge Song"...and you just can't help it.

:-)

Yup. I'm happy. Happy all around.

My photo in the Rochester City Paper! And more!

2007-08-23T09:40:00.001-04:00

If any of you live in the Rochester/Upstate New York area, please feel free to pick up a copy of this weekend's Rochester City Paper.
I took a photo advertising this week's upcoming "Science Versus Witchcraft" lecture -- appropriate, c'est non? -- juxtaposing Stephen Hawking against my warrior dragon pendant.

Also, I will be writing and photographing for a new culture magazine, A CULTIVATED MINDSET, and you will see my work there shortly.

I'm still working on SHALLOW WATER. Relax, I'll post an excerpt shortly! (On MySpace, it will be PREFERRED READERS only...)

Finally, I'm working on a few exclusive fashion photography deals for couture designers...when all is finalized, I will make a formal announcement (I might also be looking for models -- paid, with clothes -- so my friends who make a living doing front-of-camera work...stay tuned...).

The new STS blast with all new opportunities will be posted shortly, as well. (Friends only, so I can keep the psycho groupies and parasitic leeches at bay...if anyone knows anyone who works in the FBI's anti-terrorism squad, and is looking to hire, please pass along my information...I'll be a good addition to the team. This psycho groupie bullshit is the equivalent of combat training, to be sure...)

As you know, we've had recent success in the commercial (Accuvue) and movie (Winter of Frozen Dreams) fields for FINESPUN and TRACY JOHNSON, respectively. (I told you -- I don't bullshit. I neither need, nor want, "validation" from anyone. And frankly, if you care enough to bother with what I do, I'm already better than you.)

So I have a few more opps looking for stuff...watch this space.

The End is The Beginning is The End

2007-07-11T18:38:00.000-04:00

The Scene: This afternoon, Starbucks Coffee in Long Beach. The only Starbucks, to my knowledge, that overlooks the beach. Outside. An old boyfriend rolls up on his Harley Davidson -- his hair grown out, restored to its natural walnut-brown color; his sleeve tattoo bearing a few new arts, plus a skull and vine a la OTHELLO on his left arm; his goatee grown out to a gruff beard; his omnipresent cigarette -- MARLBORO 100's -- dangling from his mouth. Antonio is asleep in the car, less than 10 feet away. Old Boyfriend runs up to me, gives me a big hug, then places me back down neatly before ordering our coffee -- small, light and sweet for him; triple espresso, three sugars, for me.

HE: Let me see the damage.
I lower my mask and show him the marks.
HE: Well, I've had friends who've looked 10 times worse.
ME: Knowing who you know? I'm not surprised.
We both laugh.

HE: I'm moving to New Orleans at the end of the month.
ME: I know.
HE: I'm really excited. My house is amazing. I'm literally 4 blocks away from the French Quarter.
ME (sighing): I can't believe it. You've grown up. It's refreshing. It's nice.

He smiles, leans back in his chair. His phone rings -- he looks at the caller ID and rolls his eyes.

HE (into the phone): Yeah? (pause. I can hear what she's saying on the other end, and it isn't nice) I told you -- I WILL BE HOME AT 5:30. (pause. More talking.) No? You can kiss my ass then. I'm having coffee with a friend. (pause) Fine. (folds down the phone)
ME: She goin' with you to NOLA?
HE: Fuck no. She's staying right where she is. Fuck her.
ME: Why is it that every chick you've dated has been from the same breed of Total Psycho Bitch who has to breathe down your neck to know where you're at, every minute of every day?
HE: All except you and Andrea.
ME: Well, yeah. Me and Andrea.
HE: And I blew it with both of you.
ME: You didn't blow it. I'm here, aren't I? Just because we're not together, doesn't mean we can't be friends.
HE: All these years later, and I'm glad we are. But I think it's because these bitches want to change me. That ain't gonna happen.

I laugh. He smiles, leans back in his chair again.
ME: You know, as much as that part of you drove me crazy, I also liked that about you too. I still do, you know. It's not often you find someone that is so confident that he just does what he does. I'd never change that about you. Ever.
HE: So what's your story? You got a man now?
ME (thinking): Well, I suppose you could call him that. I don't like definitions. You know that.
HE: A musician?
ME: Somewhat. But no, not professionally.
HE: He treat you good?
ME: Oh, without a doubt. He took care of me when the accident happened. And he's very gentle, always looking out for me. Very intelligent, too.
HE: Because if he's not good to you, it takes one phone call. You know that.
ME: Oh, I know. But that's not an issue. I'm so lucky to have him, really.
HE: No, he's lucky to have you.

I smile, despite myself.

HE: Where did it go wrong, you and me?
ME: You taking off on tour, not calling me for two months, and coming back with Nina.
HE (repulsed): Oh yeah...Nina. Oy.
ME: You sure can pick'em. ( I wink.) How's the rest of the old band? All married with kids now, right?
HE: All except me and Chris.
ME: Damn. You wouldn't expect those guys to be fathers, eh?
HE: You got that. And it's hard on 'em. I'm the best looking guy from the band now.
ME: You always were.
HE: Well, now it's confirmed.

More laughter.

ME: And your mom? How is she doing? (Note: I'm the only one his mother really liked...)
HE: She's good. Thank God.
ME: Right.
HE: This guy...you happy, sweetie?
ME: Yes. Very much so.
HE: And is he happy with you?
ME: So far.
HE: He's loyal to you?
ME: WITHOUT A QUESTION. And I, to him.
HE: Well, I know that part. Is he cool with you and me being friends?
ME: Yeah, he knows. I told him that I was friends with all my ex's except for one.
HE: V, right?
ME: No other.
HE: I still want at 'em.
ME: That's too easy. I'd much rather watch him suffer with a bout of cancer of the asshole. That would show me that God has a sense of humor.
HE (laughing): I'll go with that.

Silence.

HE: Will you come visit me?
ME: Of course. It'll be fun. I've never been, so you can show me around.
HE (lighting another cigarette): I'll take you on the Harley.
ME: I've heard that promise before.
HE: I mean it this time.
ME: Okay. If you can.

He gets up, starts to walk to his bike.
HE: You know, I didn't appreciate you when we were together. That's the one regret I do have.
ME: Don't. You appreciate me now. And we're friends. That's what was meant to be, and I'm happy for you. I flip out my camera phone and take a picture of him, catching him off guard.
HE: What was that for?
ME: Just in case I want to see you around, like I do now.
HE: I'll be back to visit.
ME: I know.
HE (looking in on Antonio): Cutie.
ME: Yeah.
HE: Kids, eh?
ME: They'll put you through exactly what you put your mom and dad through.
HE: God help me.

Laughter.

HE: Alright, I'm out. Tell your man to take care of you.
ME: He does. But I'll remind him. And you tell T. to get in check.
HE: I'm leaving her ass behind. What do I care?
ME: I guess you don't.
We hug.
HE: See ya.

He gets on his motorcycle and speeds away before I can even turn my head. I think back to when we were dating -- it didn't work out, but push comes to shove, at the time, we each were exactly what the other wanted at the time. Makes sense now that we're friends...that we still understand each other...and that we still have a good, solid, NORMAL bond...not a psycho one based on co-dependence or anything else.

I walk back to the car. Antonio is just waking up. Reality, and the present, beckons me from the past. I smile and drive away.

My Comment on "The Matter"

2007-07-03T13:46:00.001-04:00

Now that a bit of time has passed...

I will only say THIS.
If you take a look at all of my past press releases for Swimming with Sharks, I'm sure you'll see how I credited certain people.

You'll notice how EVERYONE -- except for ONE particular person -- was named as "Band Member's Name, of This Band," whereas that one person was named as a "Rock'n'Roll Guitarist"?

And, funny enough, said "Rock'n'Roll Guitarist" is no longer in the band.

I suppose NOW you'll get it when I say that I *ALWAYS* knew more than I let on. The writing was on the wall for well over a year. And the ultimate "exit" cause was an EXCUSE, not a REASON (and a bullshit excuse, at that...trust me...Kanye may not say she's a gold-digger, but shit, I sure will...I feel sorry for that new life, I really do, because all it is to its mother is a paycheck...).

It had been building up for some time now...too bad the rest of the world was too far up the heavily-plowed asshole of the wannabe "star" to notice.

But it's a funny thing...
When you're not out trying to "prove" something -- when you're not telling the world how you're "Planet This" or "That Muse" or "The Other Photographer of the Millennium" because you simply ARE who you ARE and that (in and of itself) kicks ass -- you get to see the world as it really is, not as what you want it to be.

And I saw it for what it really was, and so did he...too much drinking and drugs (and it was becoming painfully obvious), too much drama from psycho groupies and idiotic cumdumpsters looking to make their husbands jealous, too much SELF-PERPETUATED drama, a STEEP decline in musical quality (that Nick Lachey tripe-wannabe power ballad immediately comes to mind), the loss of democracy (let's face it...it went from a four-piece collective to The Lead Singer Show...ego, much?), countless bridges burned left and right with the help of their psycho groupies and idiotic cumdumpsters (do you really believe, in your heart of hearts, that you can burn me and get away with it? Seriously? Are you THAT fucking naive? Even if *I* don't get even with you, I have more than enough friends where it matters most...remember, kids, in this business, if you fart in NYC, they'll smell it in L.A., and unlike some people, at least *I* always stood my ground. When the chips were down, I didn't go running away to lick my wounds...I stood firm and said BRING IT MOTHERFUCKER! Now who's left standing? Hint: NOT YOU!), and basically conducting themselves, collectively, like teenagers when it really wasn't necessary (and was, in fact, detrimental to their careers).

Do I wish harm on anyone?
No.
In fact, I wish everyone the best.
And I mean that when I say it.
Because life is too short -- and Karma is too much of a bitch -- to wish ill on people (right, Lead Singer? Yeah, keep blaming me for shit you and your middle-aged mattress of a psycho groupie did...it really served you well...still, I ain't mad at ya...love and light, eh? ;] ).

But I'm not going to sit here and sugar-coat everything just to make the populous feel better about their drug-addled, worthless lives.
The reason I've been in this for so long is because I call it like I see it...and people respect me for that. (The only ones who don't are the aforementioned psycho groupies and idiotic cumdumpsters...but that's fine by me, because if I see them, I'll throw them off a fucking building...)

It is what it is.
Good for him that he left.
Finally, someone sees the light.
And I mean it when I say that I'll always be a friend.
That's more than the rest of 'em can say.

That is all.

One of two reasons for being alive...

2007-06-30T08:57:00.001-04:00

More Surveys and Boredom...

2007-06-17T21:20:00.000-04:00

Randomness
Where are you right now?	In my office
What are you thinking about?	My Favorite Face
What color are your eyes?	Brown
Have you ever been to Mexico?	No
Do you have a crush on anyone?	Yes
Are you with this person? If not, why?	No, and because it's complicated (It's definitely reciprocal...it's just, well, COMPLICATED...)
Are you an only child?	No -- one younger sister
Italian food or Mexican?	Either, both, whatever, don't care...as long as it's vegan
Sweet or Sour?	Sour -- I'm sweet enough already...HA HA!
Why are you filling this out?	Boredom
How old are you?	I'll be 30 in November 2007
Have you ever been sky diving?	No
Would you want to?	Yes
Do you like to swim?	Yes
Have you ever cheated, or been cheated on?	I've never cheated -- I've been cheated on
What time is it?	21:18
Have you ever blacked out from drinking?	Once
Do you have a job?	Several
Whats your favorite color?	Black (science nerds will argue that black is the lack of color...so for the benefit of those folk, PURPLE)
Do you play any sports?	Basketball, running, yoga, a few extreme sports (i.e., rollerblading)
Have you ever done drugs?	Just pot
Did you sleep good last night?	You mean, did I sleep WELL? And yes.
Are you a virgin?	Lost mine @ 26...do the math
Do you lie?	No, because it's obvious when I do, and thus pointless
Are you easy to get along with?	Depends on who you ask.
If someone had a crush on you what would be the easiest way to let you know?	JUST TELL ME. Jesus. It's not hard.
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

What would you do if?
The President of the United States called you:	Start swearing like a sailor at him.
You won the lottery:	Call Gary Kleinman, my financial advisor, and start making smart investments...STAT!
You got invited to be on a reality TV show:	"Thanks, but no thanks."
You caught a friend stealing from you:	Stealing what? Be specific.
You witnessed a murder:	See, this depends. Ordinary circumstances dictate that I would call the police and report it. However, given who some of my, uhm, "familial associates" are...
A random stranger offered you candy:	"Thanks, but no thanks."
MySpace and Facebook closed:	Go on with my life.
A genie granted you one wish:	Ask for infinite wishes.
You lost your favorite possession:	That'd be hard to do, considering my favorite possession is my brain...
You found 10 dollars on the ground:	Take it.
Your date throws up on you:	Depends who the date is...
Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:	Depends...did I ask them to?
Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:	Invite him to dinner [it's George Clooney, BTW]
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:	Call the American consulate for help...STAT.
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?	The ex-wife of a friend
What is your weapon of choice?	My bare hands
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?	If I was threatened, YES
How about the same sex?	Without a doubt
Who was the last person who got really angry at you?	Do I look like I care?
What is your pet peeve?	Liars, drama queens, stupid whores, psycho groupies, and lead singers
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?	Depends...sometimes, I can let go. Sometimes, I carry things to the grave.
Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?	Nothing. I do all I'm supposed to do.
What is the latest you've ever woken up?	3PM. However, I went to bed at 8AM that morning.
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?	My Favorite Face
What is the last lame excuse that you made?	"It's complicated." A smartass like myself can figure shit out, thank you.
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?	No. I don't deal well in bullshit.
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?	No alarm required.
Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?	Triple Venti Soy Caramel Macchiatto
Are you a meat eater?	No
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?	Three bottles of wine (my grandmother had died, cut me some slack...)
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?	Yes
Do you enjoy candy and sweets?	Not particularly
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?	Salty
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?	WTF? NO!
Greed
How many credit cards do you own?	One
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?	Call Gary Kleinman and start making smart financial investments.
Would you rather be rich or famous?	Rich
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?	Been there, done that...NO THANK YOU
Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?	My book, and its screenplay (the latter in progress)
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?	Complete my Master's Degree in a year and a half
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?	Complete my PhD
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?	Yes
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?	Yes
Have you ever cheated to get a better score?	No
What did you do today that you're proud of?	Finished the laundry
Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?	Oh lord...HUNDREDS
How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?	Four
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?	Mmm-hmm. Hey, they're there, aren't they?
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?	Eyes
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?	Blech. No.
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?	Well, this man-whore DID grab my ass the first time we met...
Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?	Nothing, really
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?	Nobody, but NOBODY, decorates MY house -- that I paid for -- but ME!
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?	Buddha
Have you ever been cheated on?	Yes
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?	Yeah...smaller hips would be nice
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?	Calm
What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often?	Wrath
Do you do the least often?	Gluttony
Is your favorite to act on?	Pride
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

Stupid Ridiculous Long Ass Survey Done Out of Sheer Boredom. Sorry kids...

2007-05-31T12:28:00.001-04:00

You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
We go Dutch. Jesus treated women as his equals.

You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias, where and what?
If this were a viable option, the last thing I'd do is tell any of you the who/what/where of the situation...

Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
Texas. Jessica Simpson AND Dubya? Sorry. You gotta go. Mexico can have you back. NEXT.

You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna try?
Peeing while standing up. (WHAT?! I'm curious!)

What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
Liars, cheaters, drama queens, physical/emotional abuse, lead singers, and control freaks.

What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
Apocalypse Now.

You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?
I wouldn't.

What's something that most people do that you've never done?
Drugs. And frankly, I don't want to, either.

Before you die you want to go to...?
Iceland.

Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
Fuck on a bullet train.

A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
Panther.

If you were an animal what would you be?
Dragon.

What's something most people don't know about you?
I'm easy to get along with, but difficult to get to know.

What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Lightsaber.

Favorite parody movie?
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) brandishing a penis-shaped lightsaber is beyond priceless (and actually, strangely, reminds me of a fantasy I used to have when I was but a yung'un and first getting into Star Wars...).

Worst way to die?
In pain.

Grossest injury you've ever seen?
This requires a bit of a background: any of you who are involved with the martial arts (as I am) know that there is a move called the "sacrifice." In the sacrifice, also known as sutemi-waza, the person puts him/herself in a potentially disadvantageous position (such as on the floor, or unevenly distributed body weight) to execute a throw (most throws end with the combatant on his/her feet, in full balance). The most common sacrifice is when the combatant lays on the floor, places their foot in the hip area of the enemy, and throws them backwards.

With this in mind...I once saw my sensei do this to a person...and his (my sensei's) foot literally did a 360 degree turn. You could hear the anklebones shattering with each inch. I puked. Good times.

The worst injury you've ever had?
Take your pick: when I got hit by a car (broke my neck and left knee), when I got my fingers run over by an ice skate (required seven surgeries to get my hand right), when I got stabbed (three surgeries to get my hand right...it was a defensive wound...and you don't want to know what I did to her), or when I fell through a marble table (still have the scar on my face to prove it). They all sucked.

What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
Seattle.

What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
The universe.

What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
Phrases that are racist in their nature (if I ever hear someone say to my nephew, "Whaddup, n***a!" I swear, no matter what color they are, they're going to be carrying their teeth home in a bag...if I let them live to walk home in the first place).

What makes an awesome party?
Good food, good music, and good friends.

What's your material obsession?
Computer stuff.

What's something most would consider an insult but you enjoy it being said about you?
"You're such a bitch!"

Favorite kind of dog?
My dogs.

Worst drunken habit?
Getting pissed off at the slightest of things. "You didn't say goodbye to me? FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. I could buy you AND your whore wife with a WEEK of my goddamn salary, you fuckin' fuck." This is why I don't drink.

Its Saturday at 3am, where are you?
Set the scene. What was I doing about 6 hours prior to that?

Worst job you've ever had?
I've had a few...

What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Loving My Favorite Face. Not because I do...but because they feel I can do so much better.

Book you could read repeatedly?
The Dirt by Motley Crue. Jesus Christ...

What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Believe it or not, I'm not a mean person by nature. You can't deem something "mean" just because I reacted to it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You don't expect me to not annihilate you if you fuck with me and/or mine, now, do you? And if I call you a whore now, and people still call you a whore 10 years from now, well, ain't that a bitch. Next time don't fuck with me. That's all I gotta say.

Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
Tough to answer. I'm not in your standard office business. If it helps you any, I've never been in a relationship wherein one party (or the other) was in a position of power over the other.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
Yes.

Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
Moot question -- I'm straight.

Do you walk around the house naked?
Yes.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Yes.

Are you afraid of commitment?
Tough question to answer. Am I afraid of loyalty and monogamy? NO. Am I afraid of marriage? YES. I don't believe in marriage, unfortunately.

What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Not worth having.

Are you a jealous person?
No.

Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't?
Yes.

If someone you had no interest in dating, expressed interest in you, what would you do/say?
Depends on the situation. Just because we're not fuckin', doesn't mean we can't be friends. THAT SAID...if it was one of those annoying frat-rats/dumb jocks/rich society boys that I couldn't stand all throughout high school and college, I'd probably not be so diplomatic.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Opposite sex. Women -- as a general rule -- suck as friends. Catty, jealous, bitchy, backstabbing whores, the whole lot of 'em. (My women friends are the exception, of course...)

Can others make you cry easily?
No.

Who was the last person to piss you off?
Well, any time I go to a show and see a psycho groupie/cuntrag, I tend to get pissy...

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Four.

Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Well, *I* didn't think they were unattractive...

What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
Loyalty, honesty, and a good sense of humor

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Sure, why not.

Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
No. That would fuck up our REALLY great friendship.

When was the last time someone hit on you?
I'm clueless if someone is hitting on me, so I don't know...

Congrats to Finespun!!!

2007-02-22T14:01:00.000-05:00

We are as pleased as punch to congratulate FINESPUN on their just-announced South by Southwest showcase!

You'll note that Finespun's song, "Against the Fallout," is on our audiobook/comp CD. (we know talent when we see it!)

For those going to SXSW, you must check our boys out on MARCH 15th at:
Nuno's Attic
422 6th Street (@ Neeches)
Austin, TX

This is a MusicGorilla.com showcase.
Felicidades!

An Important Announcement...if you're a musician, pls. read this!!!

2007-02-08T11:59:00.000-05:00

Hi.

For the past twelve years, I have been working diligently -- nay, slavishly -- in the business of music. Sometimes, I have worked for free. Sometimes, I have worked for near-poverty wages. Sometimes, I have humiliated myself -- and taken criticism from people who were lower than me, on many levels, in the name of The Music...in the name of The Dream.

When SWS was brought forth, I had no idea it would become the phenomenon it became...and continues to be. What started out as a catharsis -- Melissa suggested I write down the wrongs committed against me by a band's Psycho Groupie, and the next thing you know, SWS was born -- became a global phenomenon. We've received accolades from the UK, Australia, Canada, Italy, Germany, and of course the good old Yew Ess of Aye.

It opened doors I never thought would open to me...doors that I have been banging on for the past twelve (12) years.

Finally, as of today, the rest of the doors have been kicked open.

To clear a few things up:
a. Yes, I am still an agency-represented, professional photographer. I'm out and about at least two nights a week shooting some event or other. You can ask a few WireImage and Getty photographers who have shot with me.
b. Yes, I am still running Akasha Multimedia. The website hasn't been updated because the company is being restructured. Now, however, that this is all in place, the website will be overhauled within the next two (2) weeks.
c. Swimming with Sharks will also be getting its own website in the next two (2) weeks.

Now for the new opportunities...they are now three-fold:

(1) Swimming with Sharks -- we're currently fielding different contracts from major publishers. Yes, kids, there's a bidding war. While we're waiting for the dust to settle, we've already begun work on our second book -- originally entitled "SCAM!", the working title is now "The White Knight is Talking Backwards: The Scams, Lies, and Dirty Deeds Polluting the Business of Music." [Same concept, different title -- it comes from Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" -- "when logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead, and..."]

We gave you the primer -- the 101 course -- with Swimming with Sharks...now, with "The White Knight," we're giving you the graduate level course. It's investigative journalism, mixed with a healthy dose of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and P.J. O'Rourke-style gonzo journalism [I'm Hunter, Melissa is P.J., in case you're wondering].

I, for one, am looking forward to the chapter entitled "Deliver Us from Nashville." Me, Melissa, a convertible stretch Pontiac GTO, two iPods full of music, a Nikon D200 with more lenses, filters, and peripherals than you can shake a stick at, and a week in the underbelly of Nashville...BRILLIANT.

It'll probably spawn another audio book and compilation CD...this one featuring more artists than the first time around...and who knows, I may get the bug up my ass to make a movie about it. If we can't play ourselves, then I want Liv Tyler to play me, and Bryce Dallas Howard to play Melissa.

[Hey, someone needs to score the soundtrack to the apocalypse...why not me?]

(2) World Tours -- Thanks are in order to Backstage Pass Productions and Eurorock for this opportunity. I've been trying to crack the European market for independent bands for YEARS, and even with all the family and friends I have in Italy/Sicily, it's proven to be a challenge. Now, however, the doors have been kicked wide open.

The first tour won't be launched until August, but I'm working now to secure the bands [who will be doing shows with European bands here in the states, and vice versa] with Backstage Pass and Eurorock. [As of this writing, they need three...]

Reason we need to start now? Because we're also lining up paid sponsorships and endorsements. Paging Sharon Osbourne...

I'm also happy to say that I'll be working closely with a series of booking agents and agencies to effectively launch the tour. The good news is, I will only work with people whose reputations speak for themselves -- those whom have worked as hard as I have [if not harder] to get to where they are.

And finally...and the biggest announcement of all...

(3) Again, thanks are in order to Backstage Pass Productions for this opportunity.

I'm sure you've heard of some -- or all -- of the following:

-Beverly Hills 90210
-The Heights ["How do you Talk to an Angel" -- oh come on, you still listen to that song, stop lying!]
-Meet the Fockers
-What the &*%! Do We Know?
-The Outing
-Get Your Stuff
-The Brady Bunch Movie
-The Police Academy Movies
-Pooh's Great Adventure
-Friday Night Lights [NBC]
-Ghost Whisperer [CBS]
-The Sopranos [A&E, HBO]

Well, to get your music on these shows [and then some], you need to get them licensed to them. The company who hooked those people up are currently looking for a few good men [and women] to give some music to their films, TV shows, and ad campaigns. I'm now looking to find good music, on their behalf, for big productions along the lines of the above aforementioned films and shows.

It's non-exclusive [meaning you don't have to go through just me].
You keep all the rights to your songs [if you sign your publishing away to anyone, you're just an idiot anyway...].
It doesn't cost you ANYTHING [except the time it takes to get me your music].
And who knows, you may get your music on Must See TV.
[Let me also state for the record: licensing is where the $$$ is. Getting $ for your music is great, but let's be fair: getting on a show/movie/etc. is the kind of exposure you just can't buy...just ask the guys who wrote the Friends theme, or who wrote the Sopranos theme...]

Anyone who's interested can feel free to get in touch. I can't promise that I'll submit you -- or that, if I do, it will place -- but I CAN promise that it will get in the right hands.

[Believe me, I'll let you know if I decide not to submit you...and why...though if you've wronged me in the past, you can pretty much guess...]

Just make sure of the following:
(a) The work you're submitting must be yours, and yours alone. No covers [unless you have a mechanical license].

(b) If you belong to a P.R.O. [i.e., ASCAP, BMI, SESAC], you need to mention that in your submission. It doesn't affect it negatively, it just means we have to advise them that you're being submitted so they can collect appropriate royalties for you, should the situation warrant such a thing.

(c) No country music. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Negative Bupkis. I don't want to hear any tears-in-your-beers songs, or pickup truck songs, or tush-push songs, or anything else like that. Anything else -- rock'n'roll [and they're ESPECIALLY looking for rock'n'roll!], rap, punk, zydeco, folk-rap fusion, Bavarian waltzes, Sicilian war songs, and the belching of the national anthem of any country -- is AWESOME.

(d) Professional quality work only. Stuff recorded on your kid sister's Fisher-Price tape recorder isn't going to cut it.

(e) The only people I want to hear from are members of bands themselves, or their professional management/agent. Bands: if you're represented by management, YOU MUST STATE THAT IN YOUR INITIAL CONTACT. I will be happy to provide all my contact information for you to give to your manager. However, legally speaking, I cannot discuss business matters with you -- it must be through your manager.

Fans of a band can SUGGEST a band they like, if they so choose, but understand that the decision to participate needs to be made by the bands themselves. [And don't worry, I'll make sure to let the band know that you sent me!]

Psycho groupies, wannabe photographers, "models," and other bottom-feeding vermin need not apply. Your e-mail will be deleted without being read.

[Please don't feign ignorance on these points...if you're reading this, you understand the King's English rather well, and I think I've made my point abundantly clear...I'm sure I needn't repeat myself...]

----------------

They told me I couldn't do it.
They told me I was too young, too old, a woman, too stupid, too intelligent, not connected enough, too interested in the personal welfare of musicians.
They called me every name under the sun -- every name you can think of, and even some you can't.
And despite it all, no matter what the criticism or complaint, I kept going. I plugged away. I knocked on doors and broke down barriers, until there WERE no barriers except for what I put up around myself.

With a DIY ethic, hard work, belief in The Dream, and faith in my Gods and Goddesses, I did it.
I continue to do it.
I shut the naysayers up, I proved every Psycho Groupie wrong, and I showed myself to be better than all of the rest could ever hope to be.
And now, I can bring the dream to all those who believe in it, too.

Let's get it started...
xx bg xx

The Karma of Obsession

2007-02-04T10:28:00.000-05:00

This was an article written by Patricia Kennealy-Morrison...I've posted it once before here, but I recently came across something that made me realize it was time to post it again.
[Let's put it this way: I actually remember when people used to have STANDARDS to call themselves certain things...]

My emphases and additions are in italic bold.
It was originally intended to be about fanaticism in the science-fantasy book realm, but she also explains [having been one of the first female rock music critics] how it relates to rock'n'roll.

------

The Karma of Obsession
(c) 1995 Patricia Kennealy-Morrison
http://www.chasclifton.com/books/chap12.html

I am married to a god.

Well, no; but there are more than a few individuals out there who believe that he is: the ones who also like to think they know better than I the true nature of the man I did in fact wed, or the truth of his life, or of our personal relationship, or of their own stake and interest in all this. This belief endangers them since, logically, if my wedded consort is a god, that would make me--in the time-honored tradition of Olympus and other divine hangouts--a goddess by marriage. And goddesses--another time-honored tradition--have been known to lob the odd thunderbolt at worshipers who get up their divine noses. [you can't say I didn't warn you...]

The mate in question is James Douglas Morrison, better known to the world at large as Jim Morrison, lead singer of the 1960's rock group The Doors; by no means a god (at least not by choice, of which more later) but very much a man, very much a living, loving, human being. We met in 1969, when (an initiated Witch and Maiden of a Celtic coven at the age of 22) I was the editor of a national rock magazine and he was the Lizard King, just turned 25. There were suitably apocalyptic and portentous actual sparks when we first shook hands; friends from that instant, we became lovers eight months afterward, and on Midsummer Day 1970 we were hand fasted in a ceremony conducted by the founding priestess and priest of my coven. Thirteen months later Jim was dead in Paris of a heroin overdose, although he was never even a casual user and had never so much as tried the drug before.

And if I seem to linger on his (and my) story, it is only because it illustrates a weakness in the Pagan outlook that is on one hand merely foolish and on the other truly dangerous.

From his death until today, Jim Morrison has been seized and appropriated by the legions of those who know no joy, apparently, unless they are feeding off the creative and karmic energy of those they never knew in life--would have been afraid, indeed, to know in life; in the process reinventing those lives to their own needy specifications--specs that have (surprise!) little or nothing to do with how things actually were.

[The Native Americans used to say that taking a photo is the taking of someone's soul. I tend to agree, and I'm always mindful of that whenever I take a photo...that's why you will NEVER see me taking excessive photos of one subject, ESPECIALLY if I have an emotional attachment to said subject. Five thousand photos of the same subject, ESPECIALLY when the intent behind the photos is CLEARLY Fatal Attraction fanatical, is EXACTLY the kind of 'karma of obsession' that Mrs. Morrison is talking about here. Some photographers bitch when you're only allowed the first three songs -- and, if you're shooting Nick Lachey, only the first sixty seconds -- but I'm mindful of it, and in fact welcome it. For one, as a REAL, agency-repped, professional photographer -- not this just-wanna-suck-a-dick-so-I-call-myself-a-photographer shit -- it puts the presure on me to actually be good, and I meet the challenge every time. For two, as a Pagan, it's indicative as to how mindful the artist is of his own Karma [however subconsciously] and to keep the vampiric psycho-loonies off his/her energy. When I heard "sixty seconds" for Nick Lachey, my first thought -- my very first thought -- was, "Goddamn, he's got it bad." And after doing a bit of Google research, I proved myself right in every way [those 'fan pages' are scary fuckin' things, let me tell you...]. Let's face it: whether you're Pagan or not, you can always tell when someone's been psychically, vampirically attacked...and in no better place does it come across than in photos...]

I see this phenomenon in other places besides the empty side of my marriage bed: people who have built their lives into the voyages of the Starship Enterprise; people who just know their true rightful selves are not regular working stiffs but kings and queens and war-dukes, if only someone other than the Society for Creative Anachronism would confirm it; who are Luke Skywalker "wannabes" wrestling with the Force (and, all too often, losing badly, because they just don't know the power of the Dark Side); who long to take oath as Free Amazons to Marion Zimmer Bradley or who dream of Impressing as dragonriders to Anne McCaffrey.

Before I proceed further, I wish to make it clear that I am not by any means anti-pretend, or anti-fandom, or even anti-fantasy. Indeed, how could I be, for I write it myself: a series of science-fantasy novels called The Keltiad (or, as I and its readers like to think of it, "Kelts In Space"). Fantasy is essential for our overall good health, and we all need at least the minimum daily requirement. But there's a big and critical difference between fantasy and delusion; and whether we choose to get our fantasy ration from the Society for Creative Anachronism or other such groups, or from television, books, or movies, we would do ever well to keep this difference firmly in mind. All is within the power of our own choices, and the balanced inclusion of fantasy into our personal mental menus is most emphatically not what this piece is about.

Ideally, what fantasy should do for us is show us a way (not the way); it's about things as they might be, even as they should be. It is not about things as they are (that's why we call it "fantasy"). It's like going to a kind of Renaissance Fair of the mind for a day (or a lifetime, if the fantasy is good enough) of relaxation and refreshment and enjoyment and removal from our own realities. And this is fine and good. But it is when people start turning other people's work and lives and even souls into some private RenFair playground of their own that the trouble starts.

For what these people are doing--the ones who worship my Jim as a god, the ones who do not just play Klingons but think they are Klingons--is as simple as it is invidious. It is living between two worlds with a vengeance; it is fannishness carried to an unwholesome and unhealthy extreme. At best, it is larceny; at worst, it is psychic vampirism. Either way, it is a sin and a crime, and those upon whose reality or creativity, upon whose life or work (we are talking here about two separate, though closely related, matters), the fannish fangs have fastened are by no means the sole victims. Almost always, the vampire is victim right along with the victimized, and no one is well served.

And all too often, those who commit such sins and crimes, against the living and the dead and their own selves, are Pagans.

[I don't necessarily agree with this line...perhaps we're more vulnerable to do so, but that doesn't mean we're the most-often guilty party...it's Sunday, turn on Channel 9 and see what I mean...]

As a fantasy writer, I can appreciate the temptations we as creators put before those who admire our work (I'm a fan myself, of much of the very work I speak of in this piece, so I know how it feels from both sides of the fence). Here comes along a nice attractive fantasy universe, just the sort of world we'd all like to be living in given half a chance, a few crabs here and there maybe but by and large a fine and pleasant place: all the hard work already done, everything lined out--the physical plant, the rules, the characters good and evil, the history and languages and clothes, the conflicts and alliances and systems of weapons and morality. I don't blame anyone for longing to move in, because a created fantasy world rests, if the fantasy is even halfway a good one, on solid mythological and psychological underpinnings. And the author or creator, if he or she is even halfway a good one, will have taken great pains and put in staggering amounts of time and labor to have made it so, so that it will be real and true, so that it will be attractive to readers or viewers.

The problem arises when those readers and viewers start to think that mere admiration for the creation vouchsafes them some sort of bizarre entitlement: as if by right of their enjoyment of the book or the film or the TV series (or the music, as in Jim's case), they have been handed blanket permission to lift whatever elements they might fancy for their own personal use; and, by extension, to further warp and distort those same elements from their intended context, very often clean against the stated wishes and intentions of the creators. And the greater the admiration, the more license the lifters seem to think this confers.

[I'm willing to bet that the "fashion designers" who just cut up shirts, or the "photographers" who only have one subject matter, were like those New Kids on the Block fans back in the day...who had the sheets, the wall-to-wall posters [I tried doing that shit once -- not for the New Kids, Jesus no -- and my dad beat my ass...and that's man's as Catholic as the Pope. All these years later, I realize he had the right idea...], the towels, the bean-bag chairs, and the whole nine yards. And by that, I mean...obsessed to the point that they are rendered incapable of talking about any other subject matter. I hear that these people scour the Internet obsessively, looking for something -- anything -- that may be about them to validate their worth, and lash out with physical and psychic violence against those who deign question their motives and who call them out on their own bullshit. Well, here I am folks...come at me...but be warned, I am defended...physically and psychically. ]

The other side of this debased coin is when the exact same thing is done to real people: when real (and usually safely dead, hence unable to protest or fight back or take legal or chivalric action) individuals are used as the source for the theft. And make no mistake, theft is what it is. Not a nice word, I know, but then it's not a nice concept either.

In fact, there are two distinct sorts of thievery going on here: the theft of a fictional truth and creation (let's use "Star Trek" as the example of this, since almost all of us are well familiar with its components); and, far more serious by my lights, the theft of a real person's persona and reality (Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Elvis--let's use Jim as the example here, since he is the only one I know personally), feeding one's own inadequacies at that person's expense and at the expense of those who know and love him.

I think we can all agree that, as a rule, theft is a bad thing. (This is a good commandment no matter whose god originally promulgated it.) And theft of this sort--creativity theft, soul theft--has most particular repercussions on many, many planes, which we as Pagans cannot and should not dare to deprecate or ignore.

Because when you are guilty of this kind of theft, you have not only stolen from another being, you have--listen up now--stolen from yourself. Your theft has been accomplished at the expense to yourself of your creativity, your reality; indeed, at the expense of your own soul.

When people take a template not theirs to begin with--tinkering with it, filling it with their own neediness, wrenching it from its original purpose and its creator's control--they lose track of what is rightfully theirs, their own imagination, and they fasten instead onto something that is not theirs and never was theirs from the beginning. In so doing, they prevent themselves from exploring the unsatisfied creativity that led them to do this in the first place.

[Re-read that paragraph. It's perhaps the most important one in this entire essay. There is no creativity in theft!

Tell me, for example, where the creativity is in simply cutting up a shirt that was already fabricated in a certain manner. That's an INSULT to EVERY REAL FASHION DESIGNER I know -- indies like Lime Crime, or majors like Alessandro Dell'Acqua -- and it's even an insult to the old-school seamstresses...my great-aunt, for example, who made my mother's wedding dress FROM SCRATCH. Where the fuck is the "art" in cut-up T-shirts and skirts? That design was never yours to begin with...you stole someone else's shit, cut it up, and called yourself a fashion designer. Did you know that's a form of copyright infringement? Yup! And if the original designer really wanted to be a cocksucker, s/he would go after you in federal court! Get all the "pro photographers" you want to dress it up...you can't turn chicken shit into chicken cordon bleu.

Further, let's go to an art I know well...where the fuck is the "art" in taking a photo that is otherwise garbage and fucking with it in Photoshop to the point that it doesn't even look human? Where the fuck is the "art" in taking photos of the same goddamn thing OVER and OVER and OVER again? I don't care if there are idiots that give you attention and accolades...they're just that: egotistical idiots and attention whores, a la Paris Hilton. The real photographers of the world -- the ones whose photos are used by Pearl Jam, et. al., you know, real rock stars? -- just laugh in your face...]

It is a subtle and particularly vicious cycle: If they weren't creative to begin with (since it's never the dull, stupid ones who do this), they would not be tempted to play with other people's creativity, and if they didn't embroider and obsess so on the creations of others, they'd be able to explore and fulfill their own.

We resonate to fantasy or science-fiction (or to artists like Jim) because the artists or creators have carefully made sure we shall. Even when the foundation archetypes have been "dumbed down" for mass consumption, as so often they are to meet the lowest common denominator of TV and movies, the residue of power cannot be tampered with, and remains active and alight.

Who among us, after all, does not thrill with Luke Skywalker when Obi-wan first speaks to him of the Force? We have no more idea, at that moment, of what this Force thing is any more than young Luke does; but we know, as does he, that it is something of vast and critical and lifechanging importance, and not to him alone. And we thrill to this in awed unison with Luke and with one another not only because the archetypal foundations are rock-solid but because George Lucas worked his fanny off to make it so.

Or, we were entranced at Doors concerts, frozen in our seats by the sheer power of psychic violence, when Jim broke on through by means of the music and took us with over the edge, showed us what was there--demons and glory, darkness and light, but all ours, and all us--and then brought us back again (I was there! I know! You'll have to take my word for it). And the thrill lay not only in the danger and the perception and, yes, the magic of the moment, but also in the excited speculation--indeed, the certain knowledge--that we would not come back unchanged, and neither would Jim.

And all this is as it should be, this is as the creators intend. But what no creator ever intends, unconsciously or otherwise, is that the beholders of his or her art should attempt to co-opt that art simply because those beholders are too damn lazy of brain or sluggish of spirit to do any thinking or seeking or creating of their own.

The Holy Grail (and, yes, there are many Grails . . .) was not found by sitting in front of the tube and obsessing on Trek; the world will not be changed by staring slacker-jawed at MTV; work and query are ever the watchwords. Whom, indeed, does the Grail serve?

What we have here is the tyranny of misapplied imagination, the profligate waste of creativity and insight, all squandered on something stolen. The evil of it cannot be overestimated, and it can be fatal, even epidemic, if left chronically untreated.

J.R.R. Tolkien, who understood better than just about anyone else how this works, was blunt and plain-spoken about what our response should be: We are all in prison, he wrote, our spirits shackled by the money-grubbers and the soul police and the time-servers. If we are creative persons, it is our bounden duty to escape this, and we must take as many people with us as we can.

Now this is a high and noble destiny for the humble fantasist, who wishes only to tell pleasing stories to entertain herself and like-minded others; but one, I think, we all strive both consciously and unconsciously to fulfill--not only fantasists but all artists. The pathology sets in when those whose escapes we are abetting take the escape itself for the reality into which we intend that escape to lead them.

Full-time escape is the biggest prison there is. If your idea of a good time is to put on a Klingon tire-tread headpiece every now and then and go around saying "PataQ!" that's one thing, and I say "Qapla'!" to you all. But when, for instance, people start incorporating Klingon words and concepts into Pagan rituals, giving some sort of spurious zomboid life to what was after all a thing originally created for (a) profit, (b) entertainment, and (c) Gene Roddenberry's personal artistic satisfaction, then I think I have to say, right along with Bill Shatner, "Get a life!" And I would add, "Your own life--not Jim's, not Worf's, not anybody else's life but your own."

Where, after all, are the glory, the freedom, the personal truth and honor, in recreating (stealing) someone else's vision, always imperfectly (since it is not yours to begin with, and, to be blunt, you are most likely not so talented as its creator or you would already be out there creating something of your own) and always unjustifiably? It is no freedom, but purest slavery, to make your life into a Xeroxed version of another's creative achievement. And it is nothing real.

A thousand million times graver, where are the honor and truth in stealing someone else's life, his soul even, for your own use? To turn a created fantasy into a life for you to live (out of fear to live your own, or just out of boredom) is one thing; it is quite another to hijack without permission or compunction or even a sense of wrong a stranger's very history and existence--past and present, work, loves, hates, marriage, even death--and proceed to change it all from truth and fact into a delusional construct to support your private needs.

After all, how much of a step was it, really, for that smirking little obscenity of an assassin, from admiring John Lennon to thinking he was John Lennon to killing the real John Lennon because only one John Lennon at a time can exist, like matter and antimatter... It's by no means so far a stretch as one might think; and is it a difference in kind, or merely in degree?

I run into this sort of thing all the time with "fans" of Jim: not the ones who admire him honestly as a songwriter and musician and poet, but the ones who have builded him an altar out of beer cans and attitude and a vague, deeply erroneous idea, if you can call it that, that he is some sort of spiritual brother. Jim was many, many things, and no one knows that better than I, but one thing he absolutely was not was some sort of god manquÈ. His worst fear was to be made into an icon: Jim was one of the great iconoclasts of all time, one of the great image-breakers; his avowed (publicly and privately) purpose was to show people that what he was doing, they too could do--not the drinking and the drugs and the various wretched excesses, but the moving out, the breaking through, the finding of one's own Path. And however many his own lapses along that Path have been, his life and soul and art and being were all dedicated in the end to one thing only.

And that one thing was God/dess. Jim had a deity-sized hole in his life that he was trying to fill until the day he died; one of the reasons he chose as he did to wed in the Craft was that he found in our ways something that spoke powerfully to him, something he had always known, something he had been moving toward all his lives. In his early days of rock stardom, he generally described it (when the interviewer was deemed capable of comprehending) as shamanism; and it was--all the elements were present and accounted for, and being deliberately and consciously utilized by Jim for their rightful shamanistic purposes. But it was more than that, too; and when he met me, and I began to instruct him in the ways of the Craft, he also began joyfully to accept as real the mighty archetypes he had been, half-knowingly if wholly correctly, espousing all along, and to espouse me along with them.

A vulnerable soul himself, Jim became the focus for souls both far needier and far more ruthless than he, and so he has been ever since his death--a sort of poster boy for the psychic fringies. The transition was now complete, from Jim's truth to their fantasy of Jim, his actual life becoming, in the process, an inconsequential and largely inconvenient fuel cell for the juggernaut of iconization that was already rumbling down the road. He became larger than life, but be had never stopped being a man; and were he still alive, he would be appalled and furious at the iconization, and with the iconizers themselves. (In fact, he is steamed about it; believe me, I know...) It's not even about the real Jim at all anymore; it's about the self-serving perception of him put forth by those who never even knew him, for purposes of their own. And it is not real, and it is not good.

I have gone on at such length about Jim and his worshipers/vampires because I hope thereby to make the larger point. Historically, no one probably ever asked the Sacred King's wife what she thought about her consort's whole deal, or, if they did, her answer has not come down to us. But let me tell you on her behalf, she is deeply not pleased. As a Witch and priestess myself, one who has seen this sort of thing in far too many places and people, I am more than slightly alarmed.

Pagans seem more susceptible than most to this aberration: this spiritual pilfering or soul plunder, depending on how deep it goes. Almost none of those guilty of it, though, ever see it as such, and are probably even now selfrighteously aghast to think I am actually accusing them of it. Because, oh, you know, they are never the ones, it's those other Pagans; they themselves are perfectly justified in their practices...

Well, you cannot dress up fannishness to pass it off as the Craft. What shall we say, then, of those Pagans who invoke the Goddess in the persona of Stevie Nicks or k.d. lang--two people very much alive, of course, who might well be expected to have extremely strong views about this sort of thing? What gives these Pagans the right--no, the absolutely staggering hubris--to think they can just pillage the ranks of the living and the dead, looting what they like, what they find attractive and resonant, from anyone at all? What makes them think, if indeed you can call it thinking, that this is a practice the Goddess would sanction--far less the soul being so raped?

We probably all know people who do this; perhaps some of us even are people who do this--all those Rainbow Galadriel Silverwindmistdancers, all those Arcturus Darkstar Raventhunderers (oh, sorry, I meant the Lord Arcturus Darkstar Raventhunderers...). There's nothing religious going on here; what it is is fannishness to the max, the side of fannishness I personally like least. Maybe even the side the Goddess likes least, since it also reduces Her (or Him, if we include the God here, though He doesn't seem to come in for anywhere near as much of it as Mom does) to the level of, well, Stevie Nicks.

(I venture to say it's perhaps also the side Jesus likes least--fannishness is by no means exclusive to Pagans, you have only to observe fundamentalist Christians for about fourteen seconds to pick up on that--all those wussy mooncalf pictures, all those excruciatingly embarrassing, all-butsexually explicit hymns...)

In a very real and very alarming sense, it's obsession with the Goddess (or Jesus) the same way it' s obsession with Marilyn or Elvis; and it is not good. Believe it. And be afraid.

As Pagans we already stand apart and removed from the mainstream world, by virtue of our own conscious choice (and all of us have made it, all of us have come to it sooner or later down the years). There are many reasons for this, of course, and whether or not this is a good and needful thing is not here under discussion.

But to then make a second, totally volitional, further withdrawal into what is after all a mere construct--whether it be the Kingdom of Caid or the Weyrs of Pern, Amber or Middle-earth, Darkover or Bajor, Tatooine or my own Keltia or even, gods save us, a Doors or Led Zeppelin or Hendrix "tribute" band (it's no tribute, and don't you ever let me catch you thinking it is!)--or, worse, into the very life fabric of James Dean or Elvis Presley, or now, alas, probably, River Phoenix or Kurt Cobain, cannot but be wholly destructive in the end, both to the one making the removal and to the ones into whose helpless reality the intruder is busy relocating uninvited.

The rationalization usually nervously offered is that such altar-building is really "just like ancestor-worship." That would be just fine with Jim as well as with me if only it were true. But it's not.

Just because someone has done something you greatly admire does not give you the right to appropriate them. You can admire them, certainly; in fact, that's what they and you both are there for. Honor them, by all means, as guiding spirits and revered dead, if such is what they merit of you. But do not dare try to steal their souls and lives and truths for purposes of your own. That will only end in tears, karmic cooties for you, big-time. These people were/are real; they do not exist simply to serve your fantasies, to be used as you please, with no regard for them as souls, no respect for their karma--or for that of the ones they left behind, if their crossing has already been made.

If the Goddess is too remote and inaccessible for you to worship except all tricked out like k.d. lang, then you don't deserve to be worshiping Her in the first place. If you think it's cool to worship my handfasted lord as a god, don't come crying to me when you get blown away (and you will be) by your own bad karma and his defenses (and he is defended).

In these dark days of superhype and media-fueled feeding-frenzy celebrity worship, far too many hapless souls seem to get derailed on the gleaming, often bloody tracks of the Personality Express--a fate deleterious not only to the derailees but to the creative engines as well. In the old days, syncretism was the norm: You had your basic local, common-or-garden goddess or god, and so did the folks over in the next 'hood--which was probably Canaan or Moab or someplace. Sooner or later, with to-ing and fro-ing, bits and bobs of your deities would graft painlessly onto the gods of your neighbors, and vice versa; or one particular deity would gather unto him- or herself the neat or nasty attributes of all the other ones. Until after a few hundred years what you had was a generic Goddess or God being worshiped over a fair-sized chunk of Middle Eastern or Celtic or Aryan or Norse real estate. Regional differences would still exist, but the larger geographic deity-entity would prevail, and serve as common holy ground for any number of folks.

Today, gods and goddesses having become generally unfashionable, it seems that in our spiritual hunger, so long unappeased, we are being fed instead a kind of media syncretism. A poor substitute; but nothing else, to my mind (save sheer unadulterated nuttiness), can explain the Goddess clothed in the aspect of Stevie or k.d., and we can all only hope that these ladies' spiritual bodyguards are doing their job in keeping the vampire vibes off them.

Because, you know, it's not a significantly large step from worshiping the Goddess as Stevie Nicks to worshiping Stevie Nicks as a goddess. (Nothing against Stevie, but come on now.) We see how it has already happened with Jim; and lest you should think I do protest too much, well, let me tell you how it is...

There are covens and other groups of various Craft persuasions, and solitaries from Berkeley to Baltimore, who have elevated him to full-fledged godhood. There have been violent psychic attacks, innumerable seance and channeling efforts, more magical invocations and spirit ripoffs than you can shake a stang at, and more than one actual grave robbing attempt (thank Goddess for those hidden cameras trained on his grave 24 hours a day). And I can't begin to tell you how many people have written me to excitedly inform me that Jim's just chatted with them via Ouija. There are Satanists who think he's simply too cute for words and wasted on the Light; there's even something that bills itself as the First Church of the Doors (and, oh, wouldn't I just love to nail a few theses to their front, uh, portal). And this is where the karma of obsession will lead you, if you are not vigilant and grounded; as we can see, it's a very long, very rocky road from just happily playing Klingons.

Getting back onto the archetype trail: I think the problem we have with archetypes and other paradigmatic fauna is that media practice has condemned them to promiscuity, has made them too accessible, too available for syncretic seizure under a sort of Humpty-Dumpty Law as interpreted by People magazine. The easier it is to access a particular archetype, the sooner that archetype is shunted aside for the media-ized version of itself--invariably a vastly inferior version, dumbeddown beyond belief, a baseborn clone offspring of the unholy alliance between slavering media and mawing audience. One can go on hoping that people will be so turned on and inspired by the clone that they will seek out the original, but one often will hope in vain; there is no control here, only a terrible sinking feeling that the copy will ultimately supplant its original, like some kudzu vine of the spirit choking off the hapless host-stock, and nothing at all can be done about it. There is as yet no weed-killer that can prevail against this sort of rot.

But, you say, what about these archetypes? What of those who may have started life as historical personages but who ended up as myths and social matrices--people like King Arthur or Robin Hood or Herne the Hunter, or even Yeshua ben Yusef? Was there maybe even some great and forceful Mesopotamian matriarch, her name something like Astarte or Ishtar or Ashtaroth or Atargatis, whose long-ago apotheosis gave us that Goddess of so many (and so suspiciously similar) names? What about Medb--was she just a Bronze-Age Celtic Marilyn? What if any parameters do we have here? What is the minimum decent interval before a person can become a paradigm?

That's a tough one. I write books that retell Arthurian and other, sometimes earlier, sometimes later, Celtic legends, placing them in an outer-space, far-future format. The myths I have so far tinkered with have had their being firmly seated in the realm of pure legend; but who really knows for certain, at this late date, how pure that legend may originally have been? Surely there is a fire-seed of truth at the blazing heart of Arthur's story: some local king, or Romanized war-lord, called, maybe, Riothamus, or Macsen, or Ambrosius Aurelianus; so then have I not done to him and his reality exactly the same thing that people are even now doing to my Jim and his, or even ours?

I don't think so. To begin with, Arthur is long dead, and so is his wife, and so are all his friends; Jim may be dead, but I'm still here, and so are the rest of us, not to mention Stevie and k.d. and Priscilla Presley and Yoko Ono. This alone seems to be reason enough, or so I would like to think, to any right-minded Pagan, to stand away, at least until we too had joined our mates, made our own crossings; or better yet, until all that generation hath passed away.

Too, I venture the opinion that 1500 years is a safe and respectful distance, and 30 years is absolutely not. But even if the distance is fifteen centuries, if the person in question is a genuine, documented, veridical historical figure, whose existence can be indisputably corroborated, I say hands off; and I will abide by that, at least where my own work is concerned, no matter how attractive a subject for fictionalization he or she might be. And, hear me Goddess, never in a million lifetimes as a subject for religious fandom.

If, on the other hand, the individual's origins or bona fides or latter end are so far lost in the mists of time as to render moot his or her life facts and manner of death (no contemporary chronicler ever mentioned Arthur by name, none ever reported how Owein Glyndwr died), then I say, with equal conviction, all's fair. So: It would be okay to mess about with King Arthur, but not with King Henry VIII, and it would really not be okay to mess about with THE King... One must never confuse or conflate quasimythology with current events; so if you insist on mythologizing or deifying Jim Morrison, come back in some other incarnation about two thousand years from now and do it then.

What it all comes back to is that tyranny of imagination gone awry, that failure of active thought: when something that should be used to set you free becomes instead a weapon wielded by yourself against yourself. Imagination wrongly or wastefully or inappropriately applied will only imprison you more securely than no imagination at all.

It may have all begun quite honestly and harmlessly enough, with admiration and genuine esteem, invariably for good cause. But it so easily progresses to obsession, and thence to revisionism--remaking the object of the obsession to fit your own needs--and at last it becomes out-and-out denial of anything about the obsessional object that does not fit the parameters you've imposed upon it; anything that does not, in plain words, validate your fantasy of what never happened and your denial of what actually did. This is not only nuts, it's evil, and it will hurt you, in ways you can't even begin to imagine.

Because you cannot use others' lives or artistic or spiritual achievements as iconic shortcuts to your own enlightenment: The Goddess doesn't like cheats. The selfishness, the plagiarism of spirit and art, the uncaringness, the nasty karma you are piling up for yourself, the undeserved burden you are placing on the obsessional object--all lead not to enlightenment but down into the dark. One must earn one's own reality for oneself, not borrow someone else's no matter how attractive it may appear. And what is well and honestly earned will never fail to pay off, big-time, in the end--or in the next life.

Fail to do this, and you are not merely living between two worlds but bouncing between many different ones, never truly at home in any, no world your rightful and deserved domain. It is laziness of a cosmic, and karmic, nature; it is a wrong done to yourself and to a fellow creature; and it is an insult to the gods. Is it evil? You bet. Is it stupid? Sure. Is it inevitable? Only if you allow it to be.

In the name of the Goddess, no more.

Swimming with Sharks -- Time to Feed The Starving Artist Part 2!!

2007-01-29T09:22:00.000-05:00

BUY
NOW!

SWS PR

2007-01-24T21:19:00.000-05:00

Since the initial release of Swimming with Sharks: A Real-World How to Guide to Success (and Failure) in the Business of Music, the book saw a growth in success beyond all predictions & so much so that a second edition is now available!

The co-authors -- Melissa Deskovic of Vatic Media and Bernadette Giacomazzo of Akasha Multimedia have issued a joint statement: “It is an honor and a pleasure to announce that, not only have we made a second edition of the book available, but the book has been signed to a one of a kind record deal with Conquer the World Records, and a distribution deal with Stretch the Skies Entertainment. Thanks to these two wonderful companies, our book, our brainchild, is now an audio book and compilation CD in one. It is now available through all major download outlets, including Napster and Rhapsody as well as thousands of retailers nationwide, including FYE and Coconuts.”

Critics of the book have already described it as well-researched, informative, and clever. The accolades have poured in from all over the world, earning critical acclaim in the United States, England, and Australia; it has even garnered attention from some major publishers. The acclaim from the book has earned industry recognition for both Giacomazzo and Deskovic: they were featured panelists at the Dewey Beach Music Conference in 2006, and the Functioning Band Series in 2007; Giacomazzo also contributed to the UK’s best-selling book Ever Dated a Psycho? (available for purchase at www.amazon.co.uk). Boasting photos from the agency-represented, award-winning Giacomazzo (featuring such indie notables as Abby Gennett of Slunt, Jen Arroyo of Suicide City (ex-Kittie), and rock’n’roll guitarist Wilson Lihn), Swimming with Sharks has also obtained endorsements from Hot Picks, Karma Microphones, and Halo Guitars. The audio book/compilation CD also features tracks from up-and-coming artists Doe (www.myspace.com/iamdoe), Finespun (www.myspace.com/finespun), and A Conspiracy of Hope (www.myspace.com/aconspiracyofhope). It is the first, and only, audio book and compilation CD of its kind.

Conquer The World Records was started in 1991 by Mike "CTW" Warden. Over the years, the label has put out many records and discovered bands that have touched the hearts of thousands of fans. The label's vision continues as they now branch out into the cutting edge of audio book publishing. Stretch the Skies Entertainment provides online and retail marketing distribution for countless independent artists through their partnership with Trans World Entertainment. Stretch the Skies artists are available at thousands of stores nationwide, including FYE, Coconuts, Wherehouse Music, Music Land, and Strawberries.

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For further information, please contact
Akasha Multimedia of New York City
www.akashamultimedia.com
info@akashamultimedia.com
516-322-1101

Swimming with Sharks -- Time to Feed the Starving Artist!

2007-01-19T20:32:00.000-05:00

Download SWIMMING WITH SHARKS from Conquer the World Records -- featuring music by DOE, FINESPUN, and A CONSPIRACY OF HOPE!

Buy This CD Now

Purchase a 4-disc CD/DVD of SWIMMING WITH SHARKS from Stretch the Skies Entertainment! (Also available at FYE, Coconuts, Wherehouse Music, and more!) Also featuring music by DOE, FINESPUN, and A CONSPIRACY OF HOPE!

Triumph all ye cherubim...

2007-01-07T01:22:00.000-05:00

I got an e-mail today from someone who requested to be my friend on MySpace.
"You're an angel," he said.

My first thought: "Yeah? Whatta ya want from me? How much is this gonna cost?"
[I'm cynical. What can I say. Shoot me.]

So I thought for a bit.
And I did a little research.
He's not tied to any of the whores and/or sycophants that have given me grief in the past.
And he seems genuinely nice.

Plus, he said something else in the e-mail that gave me hope. :) And I, for one, like hope.

I don't know if I'd count myself amongst the winged creatures of Heaven and Earth...but given the alternative, I suppose it's not so bad...

Quotes [kinda fun]

2006-12-27T18:36:00.000-05:00

Some quotes I live by...I'll add to this periodically...

"If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however, if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that."
-=[Goethe]=-

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes."
-=[Yoda]=-

"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.”
-=[John Barrymore]=-

“There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.”
-=[Douglas Adams -- "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy"]=-

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”
-=[Anais Nin]=-

“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”
-=[Sinclair Lewis]=-

“Of all religions, Christianity is without a doubt the one that should inspire tolerance most, although, up to now, the Christians have been the most intolerant of all men”
-=[Voltaire -- the French philosopher, not the rock star]=-

“There's nothing more boring than a rock'n'roll star. Someone who has been on the road for 10 years, expecting attention wherever he goes, drinking himself stupid, who is obnoxious, incoherent, uncreative, and has a massive ego. There's nothing more pointless.”
-=[Thom Yorke of Radiohead]=-

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”
-=[Unknown...but I plan to change that...soon...]=-

"People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love."
-=[Chuck Palahniuk]=-

“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.”
-=[Alexander Dumas]=-

“Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?”
-=[Groucho Marx]=-

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
-=[Charles Swindoll]=-

Memories and More @ Gibson/The Hit Factory

2006-12-15T10:54:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, let me say that, as a photographer...I have the greatest agency, and the greatest job, in the world. I get to photograph people, places, and things that others only dream about seeing...and I get paid to do it.

Not a bad life.

But I think the most fulfilling part about my art/craft is when I get to use it for a good cause...put it to good use...and get accolades from the legends who came before me.

Case in point: last night's benefit for The Max's Kansas City Project @ the Gibson/Hit Factory Studios.

For those who don't know, The Max's Kansas City Project was founded with the intention of keeping the spirit of Max's Kansas City alive. Back in the glory days of the NYC rock scene, Max's Kansas City hosted a veritable plethora of rock's malcontents and ne'er-do-wells. Rather, however, than concern itself with being "popular," or the supposed glitz and grime of true bad-ass NYC rock'n'roll, or the quality of drugs one could get in any given bathroom -- y'know, the coke-addicted, trust-fund-baby/legacy kid bullshit that clubs today seem too worry about just a little too much -- Max's Kansas City concerned itself with the welfare of the music community and the musicians themselves.

Today, the Project gives much-needed funds and grants to talented musicians in distress. This Project is TRULY a great cause, and I urge all of my fellow professionals in the business to donate their time, money, and efforts to this cause!

As an aside/commentary, let me state the following: I appreciate -- and understand, better than any of my contemporaries, quite frankly -- the nature of the music business, and the need and desire of businesses in a capitalist society such as ours to earn back the money that they have lost during the course of everyday business. Further, few businesses lose money like the music business, especially these days.

However, I cannot -- and do not -- understand this new, skeevy "club culture" that devours its young and all contained within it. This vile, scum-of-the-earth vibe of these "new" club owners do nothing but make my skin crawl. Instead of nurturing and developing talent -- providing them a refuge from the insane world we live in -- and helping artists realize their dreams [as did Max's, CB's, Continental, et. al. back in the day] -- these glorified drug mules do nothing but ply musicians [who already have nervous, fragile egos] with a seemingly unlimited supply of drink and drugs [for the pop crowd, X and other synthetics are the order of the day; for the rock crowd, cocaine and heroin are de riguere], turning gifted musicians with unlimited talent and potential into blithering piles of drug-addicted shit.

And PLEASE don't give me the bullshit of "trying to give musicians an alternate experience to create music" and "having the power of manifesting dreams" and "loving to put on dirty sexy rock shows" and the myriad of other excuses that these coke-whores, shitty mothers, and other pathetic excuses for human beings put out there [and they seem to have an unlimited supply of lines]. It, frankly, is just that: BULLSHIT. It's as fake as a three-dollar bill. Anyone with a half-brain cell can see right through it. No Columbia University degree required [hell, no Duquesne degree required, either...].

You want to know WHY I survived the music business for this long? You want to know WHY these musicians and other artists whom I had the honor of being with last night are considered LEGENDS? Because we NEVER -- EVER -- bought ANYONE'S line of bullshit. Because we NEVER -- EVER -- compromised our standards to please ANYONE. Because we NEVER -- EVER -- gave a shit about what was "popular," what got us laid, or anything else transient and superficial.

Call me whatever you want -- though "infamous" is definitely the funniest -- and I certainly admit to making my fair share of mistakes, but the one thing I can say that practically NO ONE can say is this: WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. No drama. No compromise. No bullshit. Take it or leave it...either way, unlike many, I've already made it, and I didn't need anyone's permission or approval to do so. I've been here for a while, and I will be here long after the parades of psycho groupies and wannabes become the has-beens that they really are.

I have but one question to ask this "new breed": In 20 years from now, when my nephews [for example] are out there photographing and reporting, doing retrospectives on the "new millennial scene" in NYC, what will they say? Will they extol the virtues of the scene I saw last night -- musicians, photographers, and scenesters uniting for a good cause, helping those who were once like them, giving back to those who gave to them -- or will they simply shake their heads in disgust, marvelling at how a promising group of musicians who could have taken the world by storm were reduced to pathetic piles of shit -- graduates of the Betty Ford clinic -- because of the likes of you?

Alas, I digress...

Fund-raising aside, it was great to be in the same room with these people who shaped the punk seen as we know it.
If you want to see the photos, click here. [Yes, that's me with Genya Ravan...]

Lee Childers regaled us with his tales of being a part of the Warhol crowd. Through the power of MySpace, he was in touch with a kid from Sweden who was thrilled to have met an original Warholite. "I can't believe you shot the likes of Duran Duran!" said our Swedish acolyte. Childers' response: "I suppose I shouldn't mention when I shot the Beatles, then?"

Genya Ravan. I lost it. Awesome. Enough said. [If you don't know who she is, you have no right to call yourself a woman in the music business...]

Jayne County [looking as good as ever] was asking everyone to feel her tits. One attendee obliged, and was treated to taunts of "Ruby is a lesbian! Ruby is a lesbian!", causing hoots and hollers from the crowd. Jayne obliged my many requests to take her photo, and was nothing but a goddamn good time from start to finish.

Bob Gruen arrived, soft-spoken and unassuming, gracious and warm.

But the most inspiring of all was Miss Editta Sherman, Warhol muse and Elvis photographer. [Her photo of Elvis appeared on his album covers, and a signed poster glycee fetched over $500 at the auction] We spent the better part of a half-hour talking about being a woman, being a woman photographer, and being a woman in the music business. Editta was a legendary female photographer during a time when most women didn't leave their house, never mind work in the music business, and definitely not in an "old boys club" such as the news media.

Editta paved the way for women photographers -- without her, there would be NONE of us, frankly.

I asked her how she captured such a lovely shot of Elvis, and how it became legendary...she told me that the best photographs occur when you GENUINELY love the subject, and what you're doing. She told me that her kids mentioned to her that Elvis was in town, performing at the Ed Sullivan Theatre [now home to the Late Show with David Letterman], and would she hurry up and grab her camera? She rushed over there, camera in hand, realizing it was a one-shot deal...and the next thing she knew...

She asked me how I felt about that -- I showed her my portfolio of work [always toting it with me] and she stopped at the photo of My Favorite Face [y'know, the black-and-white one that someone tried to claim as their own...the oft-lauded, oft-imitated but NEVER duplicated one...not to boast, kids, but "rocker girls" can't hold a candle to REAL WOMEN in this field...and I've yet to see a photo that made any -- least of all him -- look as good...]. "Is this yours?" she asked. It is, I said, and I don't normally boast about my stuff, but I'm really proud of this one...

She smiled and handed my port back to me. "You're going to be here for a long time, honey. You've got it. Don't you worry." That made me feel awesome. I was humbled and inspired, all in the same breath.

She then left, but not before giving me a copy of her cover article in Longevity magazine. At 94 years young -- and a great-grandmother many times over -- she's still kicking ass and taking names. I hope I'm still doing so at half her age...she's an inspiration to us all.

It truly was a night to remember...

As seen on Popbitch...that's book no. 2, kids!

2006-12-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

Click here!

So sometime late last year, I was asked to contribute to this book. Having been in my share of bad -- REALLY, REALLY BAD -- relationships, some with possible illegitimate offspring of Charles Manson, I viewed this opportunity as a catharsis, and as a way to regain my perpetual sense of [wry, sarcastic] humor.

I wrote my story, sent it off, and thought nothing of it, except that it was all in good fun.

Then it gets published.
Then Popbitch gives it a ringing endorsement.

Next thing you know...

This is Amazon.co.uk's description...pretty spot on...
If you've ever been single you've probably dated. If you've dated you've probably dated more than once. If you've dated more than once, you have run a very real risk of becoming part of that small but expanding group of people who have had the unfortunate but often entertaining (for their friends) experience of dating a psycho. What constitutes a psycho? How do you know if you've ever dated one? How can you tell if you're dating one right now? And if you are, do you love it? Or want to run away and join the witness protection program? All these questions and more will be answered in this hilarious new book - a collection of true-life horror stories from those heroic daters who have stared relationship-weirdness in the eye and come away with their sense of humour intact.

So, go get the book!
[I love ya in advance...!]

"The Whole Neighborhood Can See Your Business!"

2006-12-04T20:07:00.000-05:00

Ah, memories.
How Bridge and Tunnel can one get, really, with memories like those?

But I was reminded of those memories in recent times, for reasons that had little to do with my mother [my birth mother, folks; not Nanny, my grandmother, the woman I called "mom" for 13 years] and everything to do with things I'd rather not see.

Before I continue, I just want to say the following: I have no problem with the human body, with sexuality, with nudity, and/or with anything else connected to those topics. I'm a pagan, first and foremost, and we witches have been known to perform ceremonies skyclad [read: butt-nekkid] for centuries.

However, in the interest of fairness, I think I still have some remnants of Ye Olde Catholic Guilt...because while I think the human body is beautiful, and nothing to be ashamed of, I believe that there's a time and a place for everything. For me, being skyclad during ceremony is nothing to be ashamed of, because the Goddess and God made me, and there's no point in being in Gucci/Prada/Betsey Johnson/etc. in an attempt to try to please them. They know what I look like naked. Seriously.

There's a world of difference, however, between being skyclad for ceremony and this latest rash of "talent" [if you can call it that] that seems to conveniently forget to put on underwear everytime they step outside their door [I'm talking to YOU, Paris, Lindsey, and Britney].

When first I saw these, ehm, pictures of, ehm, parts I'd rather not see, the phrase above was the first thing that popped into my head.

I was seven years old -- I will never forget this for as long as I live -- and there I was, playing in the schoolyard of Resurrection-Ascension elementary school. Being the clumsy child that I was [and still am], while playing with Christian Famularo [my "husband," as we were "married" in the schoolyard, and exchanged Ring Pops to declare our undying love...he gave me lemon, I gave him grape...our favorites...I wonder what happened to him...hmmm...] I fell atop my "husband," and my plaid pinafore [how sexy] flipped over my pig-tailed head, showing the whole world [or, at least the whole of Eliot Avenue in Forest Hills, Queens] my She-Ra underoos.

My mother -- in a demonstration of what could only be described as impeccable timing -- had just come to pick me up, and immediately shouted, "BERNADETTE! PUT DOWN YOUR SKIRT! THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD CAN SEE YOUR BUSINESS!"

Nothing like guilt to get a kid to listen to you...

But back then, I was seven years old, and "playing" with Christian Famularo had nothing to do with showing the boy the physiological differences between he and I. Further to the point, Christian wasn't looking for a peek up my skirt to pitch a tent in his pants. I was wrestling with him, and ended up sitting on his neck [I wouldn't know the pleasures of the flesh -- especially the pleasures of sitting on a man's face -- until much later -- read: almost TWENTY years later...you still don't think I have Catholic guilt?].

Where's my mother when I need her? "PARIS HILTON, GODDAMNIT, PUT A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR ON! THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE YOUR BUSINESS!" [Unleash my birth mother on Riverside Drive...she'll whip all those dumb society cunts into shape, let me tell you...]

First up on the block was Paris Hilton -- she of the Hilton "empire" [though why she calls herself an heiress is beyond my extensive scope of understanding...legally, she stands to inherit next-to-nothing of the Hilton empire...but I guess that's what these "society" bitches need to say to divert attention from the fact that they're wastes of human DNA...] -- who had her roast beef curtains [or, as my sister calls it, her tuna fish taco] exposed for the world to see as she got out of the car.

I thought, EW, but as I thought some more, I realized, typical. Anything for a little attention. Take your eyes off a money-hungry society [wannabe or otherwise] bitch, and they do anything -- anything -- to get your attention. No wonder city boys love Bridge and Tunnel girls...because at least we don't have to do shit like that to get attention.

Then came Lindsey Lohan -- perpetually coked-up, perpetually drunk, perpetually unprofessional teen queen who's bound to be washed up by the time she's 25 if she keeps down this destructive path.

And I thought, oh boy...but let's be honest with one another: does one really expect an uneducated cokehead [from Merrick, no less...you'll remember that Merrick, Long Island, gave the world Amy Fisher, she of I-shot-my-lover's-wife-in-the-face fame...and Deborah "Don't-Call-Me-Debbie" Gibson, squeaky-clean teen-popster who sang insulin-worthy songs like "Only In My Dreams" before resurfacing in Playboy and, ehm, Skating with the Stars...] to have the best judgment in the world?

Add that to the fact that this broad has the shittiest mother this side of some psycho groupies who shall remain nameless [Look at me! I'm a Rockette! Look at me! My daughter is my best friend! Look at me! I'm the white Oprah! Look at me! I'm an attention whore! Lady, please grow the fuck up...], and one really shouldn't be surprised that she needs to sunshine the world in order to feel validated. Kid, I don't know you [and nor do I care to], but I have but one word of advice for you: slow the fuck down. Hit the brakes. For the love of all Gods, you seem reasonably talented...you don't need to show the world your business. Have standards. Have a little self-respect.

And above all else: STOP WITH THE FUCKING BLOW. I'm serious about this. I don't care what Leslie Sloane [when did she lose the "Zelnick," anyway?] tells the world...you can't bullshit a Queens chick. You do more blow than all the NYC wannabe rock'n'rollers you can fit into Snitch on a Friday night [and they do more drugs than a pharmacy...]. And while I don't tend to be sympathetic to the plight of druggies [while I accept addiction as a medical condition, it's an entirely preventable condition, so if you know that you've a tendency towards addiction, DON'T START DOING DRUGS...DUH!], I do tend to be sympathetic towards misguided youth, especially if said misguided youth have one or more shitty parental units [and kid, you clearly qualify...].

Again: STOP WITH THE FUCKING BLOW. Blow fucks with your head. Blow makes you do stupid shit, like sleep with people you wouldn't sleep with when sober [read: Brandon Davis...and I thought my ex was a total waste of human life with no redeeming qualities...], make friends with people who'd rather see you dead [read: Paris Hilton], and just generally turn you into a blazing asshole, someone whom normal people cannot and will not tolerate for an extended period of time.

It may seem like fun now that you coke yourself up in all the "right" clubs, but believe me when I tell you, it won't be funny when you're 30 years old, looking decrepit before your time, incapable of getting your shit together, and being the laughingstock amongst people who once admired and respected you. I pity my contemporaries who have turned themselves into drug addicts with pie-in-the-sky dreams that will never come true, because rather than capitalize on their gods-given talents that could have made them superstars, they reduced themselves to the lowest common denominator to please a perpetually mercurial and transient crowd -- the club kids -- while failing to realize that they're getting older and the "club kids" are getting younger, and the "club kids" are making fun of them instead of admiring them. Do you want to be that "old lady in the club"?

Then came Britney Spears -- recent divorcee, mother of two, fighting Deadbeat of the Year for full custody -- showing the world where her two little guys came from. This doesn't even BEGIN to describe the shit that I see from my fellow "women in the music industry" [read: those dumb cuntrags who call ME out on my "infamy," when, UNLIKE THEM, I NEVER SPREAD MY LEGS FOR A PORN SHOOT...]

Now, finally, I felt the need to ask the blatantly obvious: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Patricia Morrison expressed a similar sentiment in her blog: back in her day [which was the 60's], when nudity was de riguere for the hip and famous, there was a political statement behind it. It was a big fuck-you to the establishment. There was a sense of literacy and poetry behind it.

Now, it just seems to be a way to get attention -- a way for validation, due to lack of talent, ambition, and/or both. So, really, what's the difference betwen them and a triple-X porn star? My answer: NOTHING. Porn stars don't have talent, in my eyes -- frankly, MONKEYS know how to fuck. Fucking does not require talent. What makes fucking good is the emotion and passion behind it, not the fact that you can wrap your legs around your neck and allow a guy to penetrate every available orifice [that's the one thing the Catholics got right: fucking is only worth doing if it's with someone you love...I haven't had sex in nearly TWO YEARS, and frankly, I am more than happy with that decision, because I won't do it with someone I don't love...and I know who I love...so...].

More to the point, animals walk around with their "private parts" hanging out all the time. Donald Duck walks around without pants. If you're female, you have similar -- and probably better looking -- parts.

It's not "poetry" to open your legs, in a mini-skirt and with no underwear, as you're getting out of your car in front of Hyde [not to mention, make sure that you have "it" pointed in the exact direction of the paparazzi lens...those bottom-feeding vermin who give professional photographers a bad name, who are all-too-happy to eat it up -- no pun intended -- in the name of the Almighty Dollar]. If anything, it will earn you the title of "shitty mother" [and rightfully so] and get custody granted to the Deadbeat of the Year and His First Baby Mama [again, rightfully so].

No, mothers need not be asexual beings. But MOTHERS, especially, have an UNALIENABLE RESPONSIBILITY to their kids. Just what is it that you think you're teaching your kids by exposing yourself indiscriminately? Your sons, frankly, are getting the message -- rather early on -- that women are nothing but sex objects, dumb and misguided and in dire need of a "helping hand" from the man in her life [and that pig you married doesn't help your case]. If you had daughters, you'd only be teaching them to not have respect for themselves, and you're teaching them that what they have between their legs isn't worth fighting for...just spread your knees and let the whole world criticize!

Girls [and women...], let me inform you of one thing, and one thing only: Your "business" is what made the Greeks fight the Battle of Troy. ANY war that was worth fighting [Vietnam and Iraq, obviously, don't qualify] had, in some way, roots in a man fighting for a woman...and, more specifically, what's between a woman's legs. If what's between your legs can launch a thousand ships into war, logic dictates that it's worth more than a cheap paparazzi shoot [or an UberBelle shoot, take your pick...] and the loss of your dignity, self-esteem, and professional value.

[We'll note that wars fought in the name of what's between a man's legs -- Vietnam, Iraq, the Crusades, etc. -- were nothing but screaming bloody messes that did more harm than good...].

Do me -- and everyone else -- a favor, and remember this very important fact, if you remember nothing else.

If you're wearing pants, and you want to go commando, more power to you. [Just be sure to wear underwear with a cotton crotch if you're wearing jeans -- especially of the tight, hip-hugging variety -- for failure to do so will lead to a mighty nasty yeast infection...it's a proven fact...] But if you plan on wearing a skirt, especially one that rides above your knee, PUT A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR ON, because the whole neighborhood can -- and WILL -- see your business.

It's About Time...

2006-11-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Michael Moore's Latest Letter

2006-11-26T14:13:00.000-05:00

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

Friends,

Tomorrow marks the day that we will have been in Iraq longer than we were in all of World War II.

That's right. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini, and the entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it's taken the world's only superpower to secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad.

And we haven't even done THAT. After 1,347 days, in the same time it took us to took us to sweep across North Africa, storm the beaches of Italy, conquer the South Pacific, and liberate all of Western Europe, we cannot, after over 3 and 1/2 years, even take over a single highway and protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans placed in a pothole. No wonder the cab fare from the airport into Baghdad is now running around $35,000 for the 25-minute ride. And that doesn't even include a friggin' helmet.

Is this utter failure the fault of our troops? Hardly. That's because no amount of troops or choppers or democracy shot out of the barrel of a gun is ever going to "win" the war in Iraq. It is a lost war, lost because it never had a right to be won, lost because it was started by men who have never been to war, men who hide behind others sent to fight and die.

Let's listen to what the Iraqi people are saying, according to a recent poll conducted by the University of Maryland:

** 71% of all Iraqis now want the U.S. out of Iraq.

** 61% of all Iraqis SUPPORT insurgent attacks on U.S. troops.

Yes, the vast majority of Iraqi citizens believe that our soldiers should be killed and maimed! So what the hell are we still doing there? Talk about not getting the hint.

There are many ways to liberate a country. Usually the residents of that country rise up and liberate themselves. That's how we did it. You can also do it through nonviolent, mass civil disobedience. That's how India did it. You can get the world to boycott a regime until they are so ostracized they capitulate. That's how South Africa did it. Or you can just wait them out and, sooner or later, the king's legions simply leave (sometimes just because they're too cold). That's how Canada did it.

The one way that DOESN'T work is to invade a country and tell the people, "We are here to liberate you!" -- when they have done NOTHING to liberate themselves. Where were all the suicide bombers when Saddam was oppressing them? Where were the insurgents planting bombs along the roadside as the evildoer Saddam's convoy passed them by? I guess ol' Saddam was a cruel despot -- but not cruel enough for thousands to risk their necks. "Oh no, Mike, they couldn't do that! Saddam would have had them killed!" Really? You don't think King George had any of the colonial insurgents killed? You don't think Patrick Henry or Tom Paine were afraid? That didn't stop them. When tens of thousands aren't willing to shed their own blood to remove a dictator, that should be the first clue that they aren't going to be willing participants when you decide you're going to do the liberating for them.

A country can HELP another people overthrow a tyrant (that's what the French did for us in our revolution), but after you help them, you leave. Immediately. The French didn't stay and tell us how to set up our government. They didn't say, "we're not leaving because we want your natural resources." They left us to our own devices and it took us six years before we had an election. And then we had a bloody civil war. That's what happens, and history is full of these examples. The French didn't say, "Oh, we better stay in America, otherwise they're going to kill each other over that slavery issue!"

The only way a war of liberation has a chance of succeeding is if the oppressed people being liberated have their own citizens behind them -- and a group of Washingtons, Jeffersons, Franklins, Ghandis and Mandellas leading them. Where are these beacons of liberty in Iraq? This is a joke and it's been a joke since the beginning. Yes, the joke's been on us, but with 655,000 Iraqis now dead as a result of our invasion (source: Johns Hopkins University), I guess the cruel joke is on them. At least they've been liberated, permanently.

So I don't want to hear another word about sending more troops (wake up, America, John McCain is bonkers), or "redeploying" them, or waiting four months to begin the "phase-out." There is only one solution and it is this: Leave. Now. Start tonight. Get out of there as fast as we can. As much as people of good heart and conscience don't want to believe this, as much as it kills us to accept defeat, there is nothing we can do to undo the damage we have done. What's happened has happened. If you were to drive drunk down the road and you killed a child, there would be nothing you could do to bring that child back to life. If you invade and destroy a country, plunging it into a civil war, there isn't much you can do 'til the smoke settles and blood is mopped up. Then maybe you can atone for the atrocity you have committed and help the living come back to a better life.

The Soviet Union got out of Afghanistan in 36 weeks. They did so and suffered hardly any losses as they left. They realized the mistake they had made and removed their troops. A civil war ensued. The bad guys won. Later, we overthrew the bad guys and everybody lived happily ever after. See! It all works out in the end!

The responsibility to end this war now falls upon the Democrats. Congress controls the purse strings and the Constitution says only Congress can declare war. Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi now hold the power to put an end to this madness. Failure to do so will bring the wrath of the voters. We aren't kidding around, Democrats, and if you don't believe us, just go ahead and continue this war another month. We will fight you harder than we did the Republicans. The opening page of my website has a photo of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, each made up by a collage of photos of the American soldiers who have died in Bush's War. But it is now about to become the Bush/Democratic Party War unless swift action is taken.

This is what we demand:

1. Bring the troops home now. Not six months from now. NOW. Quit looking for a way to win. We can't win. We've lost. Sometimes you lose. This is one of those times. Be brave and admit it.

2. Apologize to our soldiers and make amends. Tell them we are sorry they were used to fight a war that had NOTHING to do with our national security. We must commit to taking care of them so that they suffer as little as possible. The mentally and physically maimed must get the best care and significant financial compensation. The families of the deceased deserve the biggest apology and they must be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

3. We must atone for the atrocity we have perpetuated on the people of Iraq. There are few evils worse than waging a war based on a lie, invading another country because you want what they have buried under the ground. Now many more will die. Their blood is on our hands, regardless for whom we voted. If you pay taxes, you have contributed to the three billion dollars a week now being spent to drive Iraq into the hellhole it's become. When the civil war is over, we will have to help rebuild Iraq. We can receive no redemption until we have atoned.

In closing, there is one final thing I know. We Americans are better than what has been done in our name. A majority of us were upset and angry after 9/11 and we lost our minds. We didn't think straight and we never looked at a map. Because we are kept stupid through our pathetic education system and our lazy media, we knew nothing of history. We didn't know that WE were the ones funding and arming Saddam for many years, including those when he massacred the Kurds. He was our guy. We didn't know what a Sunni or a Shiite was, never even heard the words. Eighty percent of our young adults (according to National Geographic) were not able to find Iraq on the map. Our leaders played off our stupidity, manipulated us with lies, and scared us to death.

But at our core we are a good people. We may be slow learners, but that "Mission Accomplished" banner struck us as odd, and soon we began to ask some questions. Then we began to get smart. By this past November 7th, we got mad and tried to right our wrongs. The majority now know the truth. The majority now feel a deep sadness and guilt and a hope that somehow we can make make it all right again.

Unfortunately, we can't. So we will accept the consequences of our actions and do our best to be there should the Iraqi people ever dare to seek our help in the future. We ask for their forgiveness.

We demand the Democrats listen to us and get out of Iraq now.

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

My photos hit RUSSIA!

2006-10-17T01:02:00.000-04:00

Yeup.

Thank you, Splash News.
That's what I'm talking about.

CLICK HERE...I, along with my colleagues Jackson Lee and Janet Mayer, have photos of Ms. Mary J. Blige [VERY professional and polite] and Ms. Sheryl Crow [kind, but shy] from the TJ Martell Foundation Gala Honoring President Bill Clinton.

These photos, it seems, have hit Russia [Poland?] and are being broadcast worldwide.

Life, as it were, is good.

[If you scroll over a photo, it will tell you who took it...I took the ones in the middle...]

Dewey Beach, and the Ballad of Yoko

2006-10-04T21:20:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Bad Bern. Bad, bad Bern.

Still, I have a good excuse...I have a new job in entertainment marketing, PLUS I got picked up by SPLASH NEWS [the fourth largest photo agency in the world]. So, I have been busy. Next Tuesday, I'm shooting Bill Clinton [yes, the former President, and still the greatest of our time...]. I might also be shooting Stephen Baldwin tomorrow...I'll know tomorrow morning. Hopefully, Natalie @ Splash will call me to confirm.

So, some updates...

DEWEY BEACH
First off, I cannot begin to tell you what a great experience this was. I love public speaking, esp. if there is some element of education involved [hence why I love lecturing @ Nassau CC, and now Hofstra U...], and it really felt good to speak on the marketing panel with other fellow professionals, and exchange business cards afterwards...not to mention, have the musicians come up to me afterwards and tell me what a great panel I was a part of, and and ask me for more advice afterwards.

[oooh...GRATEFUL MUSICIANS.]
Actually, I take that back. I didn't mean to make that sound as sarcastic as it was. The truth is, the great majority of musicians are some of the kindest, most grateful people you will ever come across. It's just a rare day that you come across the self-serving, ungrateful narcissists...and unfortunately, that can sour the truly-great experience that working with talented people can bring you.

Funny -- I've met, and worked with -- in some capacity -- some of the biggest names in the business, and it seems that the bigger the name, the LESS self-important they feel. It's like the size of the ego is inversely proportional to the size of the career.

Take Pearl Jam, for example. I have met, and worked with, them on both a group, and an individual, basis -- Ed Vedder when I was in college; Stone Gossard on several occasions, when he had his solo album [the excellent Bayleaf] and at various times when Shame/Brad were touring; in fact, my live review of Brad appears on the official Brad site, as well as the official Shawn Smith site -- and I can honestly say that they are two of the most humble, kind, personable people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Let's keep something in mind, too...Stone Gossard, of all people, has the right to be a conceited motherfucker. It was HE who was a founding member of GREEN RIVER [without whom there would be no MUDHONEY]. It was HE who was a founding member of MOTHER LOVE BONE [may the Gods rest Andy's soul, and without whom there would be no PEARL JAM, who has been so slavishly copied so many times from Creed to Hinder and back again...]. It was HE who discovered QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE. I could go on...you get the point, though. Yet, not only is he kind, humble, and ridiculously funny, he also gives back to the community AND to various charities all the time. His existence is non-singular, and it's admirable. He could teach more than a few things to the needlessly conceited, self-serving, narcissistic, arrogant wannabes who are polluting the musical landscape. If you are a rock band, and you formed after 1995, you owe more than a slight debt to Stone Gossard...so take notes.

But back to Dewey: There, I am proud to say that I met, and had the pleasure of watching, some truly great musicians: Fools and Horses, Mythica, Showin' Tell, Locksey, and Mellowdrone all immediately come to mind. If anyone needs a professional recommendation on any of these bands, please feel free to get in touch with me, and I will happily provide it. Also, as things come my way in the future, it is they whom I will think of first. Of that, you can be sure.

I could go on about all the professionals and organizations I met there -- MTV, BMI, the Recording Academy [of which I am soon to become a member], The Planetary Group, SonicBids -- but I'll leave it to the evidence of what is to come to do all the talking for me. :)

Now, for a little side-bar/commentary...

THE BALLAD OF YOKO
In the interest of full disclosure, you all should know that I was the only female on the marketing and publicity panel. Afterwards, many women [especially] came up to me and told me how they admired that I could hold my own in a sea of men. However, one woman in particular made a remark in response to said comments...

"Were you surprised?"

She said so much in so little.

For the record...no, no one was surprised. Anyone who talks to me for more than 60 seconds can figure out that I am nothing if not intelligent, and I am not going to reduce myself to the lowest common denominator to try to make people catch up with me. I treat everyone the same -- all at my level -- until they give me a reason to do otherwise.

However, it also got me to thinking: Why is it that the strong, independent women of every stripe [i.e., the Courtney Love's, the Yoko Ono's, the Linda McCartney's, etc.] are always raked over the coals for being as such, but the parasitic remora-whores [i.e., every wannabe "photographer," "fashion designer," "model," and "manager" in existence] are granted a free ride by both men and women alike?

Before I go any further, let me clear a few things up about each of the above referenced "strong, independent woman" who has been needlessly maligned...

Yes, Courtney Love has had her share of problems. Certainly, there are times that she presents herself as nothing if not unstable. HOWEVER, unlike some wannabe's who shall remain nameless, COURTNEY LOVE was, and IS, an AWESOME MOTHER. You never hear stories about Frances Bean going to clubs and acting a fool a la Paris and Lindsay. You never hear stories about Frances Bean being a disciplinary problem, using/abusing drugs, or just being a total snotty shit. Anything you do hear of her -- aside from the fact that she is the spitting image of her legendary father -- is ALWAYS POSITIVE. There are many people who don't go through half of what Courtney went through, and raise children who are irascible brats. For all her drama, Courtney Love was strong enough to raise a daughter who is showing signs of being a strong, independent, self-sufficient young lady with class and intelligence. That alone says a lot. More to the point, you cannot deny Courtney's talent.

Like Courtney, Yoko Ono has been needlessly maligned...and she also raised a wonderful child. Though Yoko didn't have half of the emotional drama that Courtney Love did, Yoko went through more than her share of bullshit. To this day, there are Beatles fans who blame her for the band's demise.

Let me explain something, for the record, people: Prior to meeting John Lennon, Yoko Ono was a VERY respected, critically acclaimed avant garde artist. Yoko Ono didn't need John Lennon to further her career any more than John Lennon needed her to further his.

Moreover, while the Beatles are -- and remain -- the greatest rock band of all time, the fact is, they started their career as a BOY BAND. They were more along the lines of N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, and New Kids on the Block early in their career [HELLO?! "She Loves You," "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," "Love Me Do," etc.? You ALL know DAMN WELL that had those lyrics come out of the mouth of the likes of Nick Lachey or Jordan Knight, the critics would be taking turns making themselves throw up...not to mention, so would every so-called "rock purist."] While their later work was positively AMAZING [Rubber Soul, Revolver, and the White Album are de riguere listening for every aspiring rock star], as with every band, there is a limited shelf life. A band that stays together -- especially in its original lineup -- for more than 20 years [i.e., Aerosmith, U2] is an EXCEPTION, not a RULE. This is ESPECIALLY TRUE if a band is still RELEVANT after 20 years [face it, folks...most bands' time in the sun usually expire after about five years...this is especially true if you're a "hot" indie band].

The Beatles, as a collective, felt that they had run their course in their career...a decision they came to AS A COLLECTIVE, WITHOUT any outside influences. Besides, call me crazy...but John Lennon never struck me as someone who could be told what to do by ANYONE, let alone someone in his personal circle.

Finally...not for anything, but John Lennon's life was pretty singular prior to getting together with Yoko Ono. While his parenting skills were certainly lacking towards his older son [a true shame], by the time he struck it solo, it seemed as though he was putting his life together...and when he was with Yoko, he was CONSTANTLY giving back. CONSTANTLY. He championed social causes unlike any before, or since, him...so much so that the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT began investigating him. Richard Nixon, may he burn in Hell, was petrified of a "long haired hippie" like John Lennon...THAT was the kind of power he exuded, a power he was able to express BECAUSE he was with a strong woman like Yoko Ono. Strong women want strong men...TRUST ME.

Finally, while Linda McCartney isn't as maligned as the other two women [especially in the wake of Heather Mills], there was a time that she was just as poorly viewed as the other two, if not moreso. Because she was in the music business -- a professional photographer, no less -- she was often accused of being a "groupie," someone who used her professional standing to get closer to rock stars, which in turn only furthered HER career [this sounds strongly familiar...].

What's worse, the biggest offenders weren't the MEN in the business -- she's unanimously acclaimed as a photographer, though contrary to common lore, she is not an heir of the Eastman/Kodak dynasty -- but the WOMEN who wanted Paul all for themselves.

[Now THIS sounds even MORE strongly familiar...the ones who called ME a groupie were almost NEVER the MEN -- especially NOW. They were ALWAYS the WOMEN. And, if the WOMEN in question were simply hot for a rock star -- wannabe or otherwise -- that I had even a tonsorial connection to, then the accusations became even MORE pronounced. It didn't matter if I was totally in love with the guy, or I couldn't stand the sight of him -- if I even so much as said HELLO to him, these psycho groupies would feel it necessary to malign me. Again, who were the worst offenders? The WOMEN [term used loosely]. I think they call this PROJECTION in psychology...when the worst traits within yourself are projected onto another, in a feeble attempt to make your PATHETIC, MEANINGLESS LIFE somewhat validated...]

There was a time when being called a "groupie" used to get under my skin, regardless of whom made the accusation. Now, however, I simply consider the source...has a TRUE professional, or a TRUE rock star, EVER called me such names? No. Has such a name EVER stopped me from getting a job in the business? No. In fact, it seems that each time someone does something against me, I only come back stronger and harder and better than before. Has ANYONE I've EVER cared about ever said a negative word about me? No. Quite the opposite.

So, let's review: people who don't matter, and whom I don't give a shit about, are saying negative things about me. This affects me...how?

Here's the point, not just for myself, but for EVERY woman in the business: Don't let their bullshit get to you. Just do what you do, do it WELL [in fact, do it BETTER than EVERYONE, male or female, in the business], and let them choke on their own stupidity. They ALWAYS do. Let's face it: a SHITTY MOTHER is in no position to talk shit about ANYONE...because regardless of ANYTHING, she will ALWAYS be a SHITTY MOTHER, and there's nothing worse in this world than that. Shitty fathers are a bad thing, but shitty mothers are infinitely worse. As The Goddess Patti Smith once said, if you have children, BE A PARENT. You can be productive and still BE A PARENT, but BEING A PARENT is most important. Abandoning your kid to WHORE yourself to wannabe rockstars, and psychologically abusing your kid to fulfill a psychotic obsession, all qualify as being a SHITTY MOTHER. If you have failed as a mother, chances are you're a failure in every other aspect of your life as well.

Finally, BE HONEST. If you're in the business just to meet rockstars, SAY IT. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. But there IS something wrong with posing as a fashion designer [especially when you can't sew], a photographer [especially when you couldn't take a picture if I took it for you], a model [especially when you're an ugly coke-whore], a manager [especially when...well...you can't even handle your OWN shit, let alone someone else's], or anything else, when you're really nothing more than a HO. What makes someone a HO isn't the fact that they want to meet rockstars, but that they POSE and LIE about it, trying to make themselves more important than they really are, so as to disguise the fact that they lack any other talent in life.

Because, face it folks...a free ride will only last for so long, and only get you so far...at some point, you have to PROVE yourself, and if you can't back up your claims, then you will inevitably become a laughingstock. It has happened time and again. The truth, such as it is, ALWAYS comes out. ALWAYS.

The Secret to Success

2006-09-17T09:59:00.000-04:00

People have been asking me, especially lately, "What's the key to your success?" [Especially when they hear of my new position that pays me close to TRIPLE digits in wages!!!]

Of course, I could give some flippant answer...but it's not necessary.
I could say something to the effect of "hard work/education/dedication"...but it's too obvious.

Success, to me, means that I live my life on my terms. My life is filled with photography, celebrity, money, fame, music, laughter, rock'n'roll, and all the trappings that most people would sell their mothers into slavery for. I didn't necessarily ask for this...but it came, and now that it's here, I can't say that I mind.

For my thirtieth birthday (11/29/07, bitches! Next year, kiddies!), I plan to make an excursion to Russia, or Iceland. I have about six months from now to decide which I'd like more [these days, I'm leaning towards Iceland, but knowing me, my long-suffering travel agent -- and Briitish Airways employed aunt -- will be saddled with the transferance of dollars to rubles at the last minute...], but that's sort of a gift to myself, a way to decompress...or, really, not...because my stock photo agency has asked me if I would be so kind as to submit some images for inclusion. Thus far, my images have gotten a pretty good response...especially that black and white one of My Favorite Face [which doesn't surprise me...frankly, that's a crowning achievement in photography for me...everything was perfect on that shot: the lighting, the subject, the mood, the intent...and that was a film shot, folks...], which is rumored to be licensed for a national ad campaign for a VERY large guitar company [I'll keep you posted].

Alas, I digress.

What's the key to my success?

The answer is simple to state, yet difficult to do:
Think about all the people you HATE in this world...those people whom you'd rather see disemboweled with a rusty spoon. [Quite a few people come to mind for me...]
Crystallize everything you hate about them. All the venom that you can muster...let it rise within you, until you feel like you're going to vomit on it. [The first time I did this, I thought of a Total Effing Psycho, and the guy who encouraged her, he whom I loved like a brother but whom I'm convinced is just as bat-shit crazy as she is...and I literally DID vomit...it looked like The Exorcist, I tell you...]
And then, when you can't stand it anymore...

Send them pink and white healing light.
Transform all that hatred into love.
Wish for them all that you wish for yourself: money, success, fame, glamour. A new house. A new car. A rock star boyfriend.
Whatever you want...wish it for them.

Then release them with this prayer: "I no longer wish for you to have control over me. Bitterness implies control; resentment, slavery. I wish you nothing but all the good that I wish for myself."

Do this EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Here's what will happen:
You will be free. You will be loved. You will be successful beyond your wildest dreams, because you no longer will be controlled by the tyranny of hatred and venom that they wished for you.
You will be protected. The Gods are interesting creatures -- in that, when you start wishing the best to those who wished nothing but the worst for you, all that you wish for will come true.
[Try it. It works. I promise.]

And in turn...those who wished harm upon you will be crushed by the weight of their own psychosis, their inborn venom, and their own Evil Black Karma.

I have learned but one thing: What goes around, comes around. BUT...if it takes a little longer to come back around...it means that you're in for a return unlike anything before, or since. If you're expecting good things...you will be recompensed three hundred fold. If you're expecting bad things, well...may the Gods help you. Or, better yet, go to Hell and beg for mercy.

Pretty simple, methinks...

Boredom makes you do crazy things...

2006-08-29T22:34:00.000-04:00

1. Initials
BRJG...vowels are for pusssies.

2. Someone with the same birthday as you?
Louisa Mae Alcott [Little Women]; Howie Mandel; Jonathan Knight of New Kids on the Block; C.S. Lewis; Jacque Chirac

3. Where was your first kiss?
In the Chaminade auditorium [me and every other Mercy girl]

4. For or against same sex marriage?
For

5. Are you homophobic?
No

6. Are you bisexual?
No

7. Do you believe in God?
Several

8. How many U.S states have you been to?
35

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
Three [NY, FLA, PA]

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S?
Yes [Italy, Germany]

11. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My eyes

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself:
My intelligence

14. What is your dream car?
The one I'm driving now [BMW]

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Iceland

18. Do you download music?
Yes

19. How many illegal things have you done?
I'm not answering this on the advice of my attorney

20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
Been so long since I've dated...I can honestly say I don't know...

21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?
He's too young

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Oh yes...

23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes

24. Do you like president Bush?
*barf*

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Not yet...

26. Have you ever white water rafted?
Oh yes...Delaware HERE I COME AGAIN!

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
*pffft* Try 25 years older...

29. Have you met a real redneck?
Ye'sir...

30. Are you racist?
No. I'm an equal opportunity misanthropist.

31. What song are you listening to right now?
Cowboys from Hell by Pantera

32. What is your current favorite song?
Fade to Black by Metallica [not so closet metalhead here, people...]

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Life as a House. I bawled my eyes out.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
The Fuse offices in NYC

36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
...

37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Only twice. Once, in the seventh grade, when a boy called my mother fat [I broke his nose]. The second time, when I was 19 years old, I had a boyfriend that liked to hit me whenever shit didn't go his way; after three months of getting smacked around, punched, and black'n'blued [yeah, I was young and stupid], I finally cracked him back. I knocked out three of his teeth. I swore to him, myself, and the whole world that the next time a man -- ANY man -- picked his hands up to me, he wouldn't HAVE any hands. I guess the Gods were listening, because since then, no man has even attempted to do so.

39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His eyes. His eyes will tell me everything.

40. What really turns you on?
Compassion. People who are concerned for others, not just themselves.

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Triple espresso.

44. Say something totally random about yourself:
I like Great Northern Beans.

45. Do you have an iPod?
Savin' up for one. I have this thing called BILLS, you know...

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
According to MyHeritage.com, I look like Penelope Cruz to a certainty of 85% [that's news to me...]. However, I've been told: Sandra Bullock, Sophia Loren, Liv Tyler, Drea DiMatteo, and Salma Hayek.

48. Do you have braces?
Nope, never, thank gods...

49. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yes

50. Do you like someone right now?
Try LOVE, sweetie...he's My Favorite Face...

51. How tall are you?
68 inches [5 foot 8]

52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
Several, thank you.

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Several. Unfortunately.

57. Do you watch MTV?
No

58. What's something that really annoys you?
Psycho Fuckin' Groupies

59. What are some things you really like?
No particular order: Music, love, intelligence, passion, paganism, dragons, animals [all of 'em], my friends, My Favorite Face, my nephew, the number 13, black and purple...

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Used to...

61. Can you dance?
Yes. How well is another matter.

62. Have you ever surfed?
Yes. Again, how well is another matter.

63. Do you know how to pump gas?
You think?

64. Do you have siblings?
One younger sister by birth; several older brothers by choice; one twin sister by choice; one twin brother by choice.

65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
72 hours straight, baby. Those were the days...

66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
Yes

67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes

68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
Yes. Never did it, though.

69. What's your favorite state to live in?
New York all the way...

Just Announced -- I'm Photo'ing the BMI Urban Awards!!!

2006-08-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

Stay tuned tomorrow for an annoucement in re: Fuse, but for today...

Just confirmed today that Bernadette (Akasha Multimedia/Swimming with Sharks co-author) will be photographing the BMI Urban Awards!

Amongst the celebrities expected to attend: Ludacris, Lil'Jon (all together now: "YEAH-AH!"), Jay-Z, The Neptunes, Kanye West, Nile Rogers...you know, pretty much anyone who matters, or has ever mattered, in the world of hip-hop in particular, and urban music in general.

Good always triumphs over evil.

Huge Effin' Announcement!

2006-08-25T17:46:00.000-04:00

...No joke, mofos.

[ Click Here ]

Ya heard.

Yanked from Xenia...

2006-08-17T22:13:00.000-04:00

~un~// inspiration::
what's more important, creativity or success?:
Both.

would you rather be under the rainbow or over the stars?:
Over the stars. Been under the rainbow before...

do you create digital art:
To varying degrees of success...

do you play an instrument?:
No.

pink hair or black hair?:
Black

eyeshadow or lipstick?:
Lipstick.

should boys wear makeup?:
If they want...to a degree...

what country inspires you?:
Sicily.

can you speak another language?:
Italian [including most Southern dialects thereof, including Sicilian], Spanish, Latin, German, Ancient Greek, French, and smatterings of Arabic and Armenian.

primitive or futuristic?:
Primitive.

Dali or Sargent?:
Dali.

favorite color?:
Theoretically, BLACK is the complete absence of color...though it is my favorite. If I were to pick an actual COLOR -- in the scientific sense -- it would be PURPLE.

Victorian or Cyber? which is better? do the two mix:
Cyber. Cyber is better. No, they do not mix.

what/who is your muse? Don't laugh, we all have a muse of some sort!:
Oh geez, I have several. For different reasons, and in no particular order: Isis, Selket, my grandmother, dragons, Lady Auset, dogs and cats, Antonio, My Favorite Face, black, getting hit by a car when I was 13.

~deux~//beliefs:
where were you before you were born?:
Do the words "Warrior Goddess" mean anything to you?

is rap poetry?:
In a way...

should musicians be judged by their fashion sense (or lack of it):
Not completely.

are you religious?:
I think I'm more spiritual, however, I am very devoted to the Pagan path.

if you are religious, do you think it shows in your creativity?:
Let's see...I named my company AKASHA, after the most basic yet complex tenet of my Path. So, that would be a YES.

what do you think about photos?:
If done properly, they are beautiful expressions of art and soul. If not, they're pieces of crap and evidence of complete obsession.

martial arts or dance?:
Both.

does beauty lie within everything?:
Yes.

if you answered yes, what is beautiful about a roach?:
Its unique ability to adapt and thrive.

is pop an actual music force to be appreciated?:
For what it's worth, yes.

would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?:
Yes.

Is nature beautiful, or is it an ugly place?:
Beautiful.

is expensive clothing better than cheap clothing?:
No.

do you think all religions are the same?:
It doesn't matter how you get to the top of the mountain.

~trois~//individuality

what do you think makes you unique?:
My honesty. I tell you the truth, no matter how much it hurts. I cannot stand people who are all smoke and mirrors. And, 99.9 times out of 100, I see people for who and what they really are...for those times that I don't, when I do discover the truth, I expose them as the shallow, worthless fucks that they are.

what's your artistic gift to the world?:
Way too much to describe here.

are you...cynical or wide eyed in wonder at the world?:
More of the latter than the former.

what's the color of your soul?:
Purple, lined with green and white.

are you depressed?:
No.

are you depressing?:
No. I'm just not like everyone else.

If you draw/paint, what's the color most seen in your work?:
Red, for some reason.

do you compose music?:
Uhm, no...

is your life haphazard or carefully planned?:
Depends on what aspect we're talking about. I ride the waves...but I ask where they go from time to time. More to the point...I never forget where I've come from.

Where do you hang out to get inspired/be artsy:
Everywhere. You'd be amazed at what I get inspired by. I let the world leave its footprints on my heart, and then express it in a way that only I know how to do.

does art make your life miserable?:
Honestly? NEVER.

Do you think all creative people are meant to suffer?:
I don't view it as suffering -- I view it as a different method of processing life's lessons. I will say this: I've found that the most sensitive people aren't born with a coping mechanism...and if they don't acquire one with life [as I did], they will "suffer" [learn?] tremendously.

what icons/items do you like to feature in your art?:
My best photographs are of guitarists, for some reason. I must've been Phil Lynott or Jimi Hendrix in a former life...

how would you describe your art style?:
Eclectic.

~quatre~//miscellany
ok. What do you think of Gwen Stefani?:
Having met her, I don't suppose this is a fair question. However, in the interest of honesty, I will say this: she's EXTREMELY calculating and more than slightly insecure [she was threatened by Courtney Love, of all people. dubya tee eff?]. She is also very SoCal in her presence -- rather jarring when you're NYC gritty like myself. [By NYC, I don't mean "Riverside Drive Gold-Digger." I mean, "Pre-Giuliani Alphabet City Scrapper."]

cd covers are cool. Which do you think is the most creative?:
Pearl Jam's latest eponymous album [J Records]. Avocado. What can I say.

Do you get bored easily?:
Yes.

which rock band is the most creative?:
R.E.M. and Mother Love Bone.

stormy weather or beautiful blue skies?:
Stormy weather. Bring it on!

Is it important to be mysterious?:
It's important to be COMPLEX. There's a world of difference. MYSTERIOUS implies a level of dishonesty.

do you like wandering around at night?:
In a city like NYC, you bet. In a natural environment, no.

If you met me, what would you say/do?:
Hi.

are graveyards beautiful or scary?:
Beautiful.

Sunset or moonlight?:
Moonlight.

desert or forest?:
Forest.

Do you think clothes are important?:
When they're necessary, yes.

What's your fashion scene?:
*snore*

and finally, the olde question..what do you think about the survey??:
It helped kill time.

Swimming with Sharks Update!

2006-08-17T10:49:00.000-04:00

Three major updates in the Swimming with Sharks camp:

UNSIGNED MAGAZINE: As you all know, Issue No. 2 is out now, and it features a review of Swimming with Sharks. Go to unsignedmag.co.uk and pick up your copy. 2 British Pounds, or appx. $3.50 USA Dollars. Not a bad deal. And you get a CD with your purchase of the magazine.

ROCKLAND WORLD RADIO: Bernadette just finished up an AWESOME interview with Joan Reid of Rockland World Radio, for their international show "Cool on the Groove." Look for the link to the interview to be posted shortly!

LOCAL BAND NETWORK features Chapter 10 of Swimming with Sharks...specifically, The Musician's Ten Commandments.

Check out The Local Band Network!

More to come...stay tuned...

Pantera Song of the Day

2006-08-15T15:25:00.000-04:00

Many people don't realize this (I guess it's because I come off so unassuming in real life...), but Pantera was one of those bands that saved my life.

When I was 13 years old, I experienced a lot of loss in a short period of time...first, my grandmother (who was like my mother) died of lung cancer at 63 years old; then a friend of mine OD'ed on heroin (hence why, to this day, I will never touch a hard drug); then another friend got killed by a drunk driver (hence why I want every drunk driver crucified in the public square); and finally, to cap it off, I was hit by a car and was out of commission for eight months (resulting in arthroscopic surgery and reconstruction of my left knee; I went from being a track & field athlete to being immobile, and it was only by the grace of all gods that I got back to my fighting -- and better -- shape...but it took SEVERAL years, and I still have a weird knee).

Hence, when I was 13 years old, I was filled with a LOT of rage.

Enter Pantera.

The first time I heard Pantera, I heard their now-signature tune, "Cemetary Gates." In a weird way, I felt like that was my grandmother's message to me...I could almost feel her energy connect with mine in that song (OK, she couldn't stand heavy metal music, and I can guarantee you that she wouldn't have been able to stand Pantera...but I guess she knew that I would "get" it...).

But more to the point, Pantera was able to crystallize, for me, all the rage I felt inside...and was able to project it in a way that was constructive, for me. Listening to even ONE Pantera song gave me "strength beyond strength," and made me feel not-so-alone in this crazy world. Furthermore, it helped me realize that hey, I'm NOT the only one who feels this way in the world! It certainly prevented me from going out and doing crazy shit to act out my rage...in Pantera's music, I could "keep that shit in the pit!" To this day, it's a philosophy that rings true to me: better to get in a mosh pit and let it all out, then go home and get on with your life...as opposed to going on a rampage at your local McDonald's or something.

Those people who would equate Pantera's music with ANY kind of violence -- especially outside the "pit" -- don't get music in general, and heavy metal in particular.

How ironic that Dimebag Darrell -- by all accounts, the nicest guy you could ever meet; even in death, Phil Anselmo called him "my brother" -- could meet such a violent end. [According to some reports, that crazy-ass Nathan Gale shot him because he was pissed about Pantera breaking up. Uhm...yeah...shooting Dimebag will get the band back together REAL quick...*sighs*]

I was thinking about this today...and I realized that Pantera was one of the bands that gave me the priceless gift of, not only their music, but MY LIFE.
Dramatic? Hardly.
99.9% of you didn't know me at 13 years old.
I was ONE ANGRY KID, let me tell you.

Many people equate "Cemetary Gates" with Dimebag now that he's gone. I, for one, don't agree...for one, it has my grandmother's connotation; for two, "Cemetary Gates" is a dirge, a sad song, a song of mourning.

I'd like to think that Dimebag deserves a hero's send-off...because he was a hero to many...not just me.

I just heard this Pantera song today on Pandora radio...and I felt it more appropriate for Dimebag...let's see how many of you agree.

-=[Valhalla]=-
There is a place
where every man who falls
in battle surely will go
and in this place
lives a God
who is their Lord
one of knowledge
who surely knows

Eyes are burning brightly
shining on into the night
heads are falling
valkyries calling
back the men to fight
for The Terrifier
Magic Mystifier
preparation for victory
Mighty Oh! VALHALLA
they're coming Home
to VALHALLA

Each day the valiant
armies of the past
would fight outside the hall
then in the evening
the vanquished would rise up
with the victors
and feast one and all

Written on the runes
the many tales of men of old
ancient kings who ruled the land
a thousand years ago
prayed to The Terrifier
Magic Mystifier
for knowledge and Victory
Mighty Oh! VALHALLA
they're coming home to VALHALLA

Come the final battle
Odinn charges on his steed
Fenrir's foe is thrusting home
but it was not to be
now The Terrifier
Magic Mystifier
Vanquished but he will live on
Mighty Oh! In VALHALLA
He's living on In VALHALLA
VALHALLA!

This Week in Bern's Radio

2006-08-15T10:19:00.000-04:00

If you've not heard of PANDORA, now is the time to do so! This is the best invention yet.

A few words of wisdom for wannabe photographers...

2006-08-14T14:20:00.000-04:00

Folks, I've noticed an increase in wannabe "photographers," and it's starting to get annoying to people like me, who've slaved over our ART (and TRUE photography IS an art) since our geeky, awkward, pimply teenage years.

There's nothing wrong with taking pictures for fun. Hell, that's how ALL of us got started: because we liked to do it.
There's also NOTHING wrong with simply learning photography on the fly, without the benefit of a formal education in the art (for the record, aside from one graduate class in advanced photography, I've never taken a photography class in my life...yet I'm still an agency-represented, professional photographer, who was the photo editor of her high school yearbook, who has won four photo awards and several accolades, and has two (2) photo exhibits under her belt. Not to be arrogant, but I think I know what the fuck I'm doing...and I think I know what the fuck I'm saying...).

However, there comes a point where you have to step it up -- take it up a notch -- especially if you're purporting yourself to be a "professional" photographer (regardless of your specialty). There is really no sense in having all the best equipment that money can buy if you don't know the most basic of photography techniques.

Since I'm a sucker for film (even though, for the most part, I shoot digital these days), I'm going to start with a few techniques in how to PROPERLY shoot in FILM. Since my specialty is "live concert photography" (though I handle red carpet, fashion, and product photography equally well), I'll use that as an example.

(Incidentally, it's also no coincidence that the biggest wannabe's in the field are in "live concert photography," so I feel it equally my duty to distinguish between the two...)

FILM: First of all, it goes without saying that if you're going to shoot in ANY medium -- digital or film -- YOU MUST INVEST IN AN SLR CAMERA. Point and shoot cameras have GOT to go. You are not shooting your mother's 50th birthday, and you are not taking pictures of your kid going off to college. This is live concert photography, in a professional environment.

Second -- and this is unanimous amongst all professional photographers -- shoot with a high speed film.
(See here...)
To be fair, most one-hour photo developing places have no clue on how to develop 1600 or greater speed, and the prospect of professional development can become expensive. If you have NO OTHER CHOICE -- and IF you have the skill to pull it off -- shoot in 800 speed, but NEVER anything lower. Don't even THINK about 100 or 200 speed. It produces a "milky" look that makes your subjects look COMPLETELY washed out. No amount of Photoshop is going to save it.

Agencies the world over put photos like this in the TRASH, where they belong. Of the 36 exposures you may get in a standard roll, only THREE will come out RESPECTABLE, and MAYBE ONE will come out GREAT. Those are far from professional standards -- in the world of professional photography, AT LEAST 75 PERCENT of all photos you take in an event must be GREAT, and the other 25 percent must be RESPECTABLE. Error is not allowed.

If the prospect of shooting in high-speed is too daunting for you, you have no business calling yourself a professional photographer.

DIGITAL: I feel like renting a billboard to say this...

SHOOT RAW, NOT JPEG. SHOOT RAW, NOT JPEG. SHOOT RAW, NOT JPEG.

From the Mezzoblue website...
Take a look at the examples they offer, and you will see why we professionals extol the virtue of RAW. JPEG's are nothing more than compressed files, and they are not true to light, form, or environment. Furthermore, editing JPEG's will only result in image damage -- did you know that each time you open a JPEG in ANY editing program, the image suffers damage?

This is not the case with RAW. RAW files are uncompressed, leaving them true to form, light, and setting. When editing, the results are clearer, and more professional; you can edit the hell out of RAW files and they won't be damaged. RAW is not for the impatient (as at 10 megs per file, it will take a while to open), and you can't take them to CVS for printing, but the payoff is worth it.

Let me put it this way: Professional photographers can EASILY tell the difference between a photo that was shot in JPEG, and a photo that was shot in RAW, regardless of the editing program used, or the adjustments made therein.

(For the record, all of my best digital photos were taken in RAW...I shot the BTS fashion show completely in RAW...recently, I saw an instance where my photos of Patti Smith [taken in New York] were used for a story on her in Chicago because the photographer not only used a low speed setting, he shot the photos in JPEG...)

Anyone else have suggestions?

Ciara Live Performance -- VH1 Save the Music Gala -- Hamptons

2006-08-08T08:19:00.000-04:00

PLEASE NOTE: These photos have the Photorazzi watermark. Click on the link to see more photos, and to purchase license for same. All photos are (c) 2006 Akasha Multimedia for Photorazzi, and may not be used without permission.

Ciara Live Photos

Not what I expected, but better than the alternative...

2006-08-07T15:09:00.000-04:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(76% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(16% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

My Personality Profile

2006-08-07T11:51:00.000-04:00

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.

Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.

You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.

You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.

You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

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I'm not really one for pop personality quizzes, but hey...this is pretty accurate...

I have joined the Blogspot Revolution...

2006-08-07T10:32:00.000-04:00

Good-bye MySpace (well, for a little while) and Livejournal...hello Blogspot.

Folks, be prepared for the ride of your life...